Coffeebration

I can’t take it anymore, I’m totally paranoid about my packages being stolen now, and it doesn’t help that there are like 4 more things on the way. One is coming on Monday via Fed-Ex, and apparently I have a signature release on file, so Fed-Ex always just sort of leaves my packages at my door. I’m not overly concerned about that because Fed-Ex always leaves my package between my two doors … not in the front of the house where the Christmas Assbags eagerly wait to steal packages. Two packages are coming USPS and the company is a completely outdated and unable to even provide USPS tracking numbers, nor are they able to email me when my package has been shipped. Their customer service is ridiculous and even though neither of my items had been shipped yet, I was unable to upgrade my shipping to a trackable service (i.e. UPS, Fed-Ex). So I went to the Post Office and requested all of my mail to be held there until January 1st. In addition I have put big signs everywhere that says not to leave my USPS packages here and to leave them at the Post Office as directed. My other packages are arriving on Monday to me at work, so that is not a problem.

In other glorious Holiday News: All of my Christmas Shopping done, with the exception of some Apricot Brandy for my grandpa which I will buy tomorrow. I have wrapping paper, bows, and tape … everything I need to wrap presents in. I just realized that I have no proper boxes to put the presents in. Stores are definitely lacking in providing gift-boxes this year. I didn’t get one anywhere. Nobody even asked me if I wanted gift boxes.

Yesterday I went to the mall to do some shopping (for myself). I was growing tired of my GoodWill collection of clothing so I decided to buy a few new things for myself. I hated all clothes at every store. All of the shirts were the ones that barely cover your shoulders but have this big overlap thing on it, like you are wearing a big chunk of garland over your shoulders. I hate those shirts. This girl I know wears a different color of one every day and I hate her and therefore I will never be caught dead in a shirt like that. Every time I see one I think of her and want to cut out her voice-box. I hate the way she talks. She thinks she is a valley girl or something. Someone asked me about her one day. She was like “Is she from California?” It was sooo funny. She is from here, and nobody can figure out where she got her extremely annoying voice from. Like “Oh my Gawwd!” I hear it at least 30 times a day. Sorry, you aren’t 15 anymore.

Anyways, I found two pairs of acceptable pants and one shirt. Sadly I bought the shirt from the old woman section. The “career” and “juniors” section has the most disgusting clothes I’ve ever seen. I shopped at Lazarus and JCPenney’s. Forget Aeropostale or ooh … they have a Delias at the mall now. Those stores are way too cool for me. I don’t feel comfortable walking around with a see through scarf-belt or a way trendy shaul that makes me look like a gnome. I look completely stupid in anything trendy … as do most people who think that they are cool by wearing it. I can’t even find a normal sweater. Every sweater was this paper-thin see through sweater material with a shirt under it to complement the V-neck that goes down in-between your boobs. Maybe that is cool for someone with smaller boobs, but mine stick out a bit too much to look cool in that. And how the hell do you wash something like that? With a toothbrush and a hair-dryer? And what is up with the huge fake flower pins attached to every single shirt, or the v-neck shirts that have a “V” in the front and back. I tried one on and the V in the back went half way down my pastly white back. Yes, that is attractive in the middle of the winter. I guess I have to get a fake tan before I can wear that.

I can’t stand clothes. I hope nobody buys me any for Christmas because I will just hate them. My grandma always buys me normal sweaters from LLBean and I like those. That is about all I like though.

I’m done ranting now. I have to go do something before my day is over and I have to go to bed and sleep, just so I can go to work tomorrow and learn all about this “huge project” I have to be involved with. Don’t these people understand that I hate responsibility and involvement of any kind! Obviously not, I guess I will have to educate them on the rules of working with me.

Following up on my previous entry, Amazon is replacing my order, no charge, no questions asked … and giving me expedited shipping so I get it by Christmas.

And I am having it delivered to work so no jerks can steal my stuff.

Thank You Amazon, for saving Christmas and for preserving my joyous Christmas spirit.

If you ever need the secret Amazon customer service number, just ask me!

I think Santa has it out for me this year. No matter what I do something has to happen to make me mad at Christmas.

Today I am extremely pissed off at someone. I don’t know who yet. I don’t know if I ever will. To make my long venting pissed off story simple, I will not ramble. I will just state the facts.

I ordered $100 worth of stuff from Amazon.
It was delivered VIA USPS on Sunday (yes Sunday … Chrismas schedule).
I confirmed with the Post Office and the delivery guy that it was delivered here.
It is not where it is supposed to be. It is nowhere.
I talked to a guy who lives in my building and he saw the package on Sunday, even remarking – yes I saw a package for (insert my name) – it was from Amazon.
I did not mention Amazon, so I know it was there.
It is no longer there.
My Chrismas presents were stolen.
I am very upset.

The End.

It is Friday boys & girls. That means that tomorrow is Saturday and I have nothing to do! Yay! And that also means that I only work until 4:00 today. I’m at home on my lunch break, celebrating Christmas of course.

Tomorrow I may go Christmas shopping. I don’t know where I am going to shop at, but maybe I’ll figure it out sometime. I can’t wait for the day to be over. I have made a list of 13 things I need to get done before the end of the day. Nine of them probably won’t happen because it requires cooperation of others, which I do not see happening. I can get my four independent projects done … maybe. I’d be happy if two of the other things on my list of 9 got accomplished. I would be really happy if all 9 happened, but it won’t.

I’m supposed to be on a diet but I just ate potato chips. I have no will-power. I suck. Yell at me, please. I guess I could probably go puke and just be a binge-eating bulimic person, but puking is nasty … plus my tummy would probably just be hungry again. Actually one time I got sick and puked up potato chips and it was nasty. I didn’t eat very many of them, but it was still really gross because it was trying to come out and it was just this really thick mush that was stuck in my throat and all through my mouth. I hope you weren’t eating something just now. If so, sorry … I should have headed this paragraph with a disclaimer that you may feel queasy after reading it, but I’m just rambling as I go along. I had no intention of writing about that until my fingers began typing it.

Well, I must get back to work but have a happy weekend … I will be exercising off my fat butt and then spending the rest of my time sitting on my butt, playing the Sims, shopping, or sleeping. Bye!

It is officially the month of Christmas and we should all celebrate! I am getting very depressed at work from having to suppress my Christmas spirit for 7 hours a day. Every day that it is not blustering death outside I plan to come home and dance around with my Christmas lights on my lunch break.

Some jerk has bombed my website with comments about some texas party poker crap. Ummm, die please. There are now about 650 comments (mostly all in my old entries) but they are pissing me off. And moveable type is not set up to mass delete comments. You have to click on each one to delete it. And this faggot or this faggot program, or whatever is doing it has been doing so since November 30th. And has done it every day. So … I assume that it is going to continue until I die. AND, every single comment has some random different IP address, so I can’t even use the “block IP address” feature. Any suggestions? Please let me know.

So, I’m sure I have lots to talk about. First I will discuss the wonderful luncheon I went to yesterday. Please read my previous entry if you do not know what I am talking about because I do not feel like repeating myself. Anyways, it was quite interesting. Surprisingly all of the women were nice and this woman’s house was insane. The house itself wasn’t spectacular. I was expecting some ornate mansion, but it was just your typical ranch-style home, and of course it was completely remodeled and landscaped to look really awesome. The inside looked like an interior decorator’s dream. It was filled with art. Art, sculptures, statues, everywhere. Plush carpet, glass tables with weird balls underneath. It was really nice, and the style was very modern. I liked the house very much. It was a little too much in some places, but what I liked about it was that everything was “cute”, not that contemporary art crap … like cool modern-hip stuff. Like the Sims.

After the lunch-deal a co-worker and I did some grocery shopping and then we went to this place that is kind of like bath and body works, but not really … and somehow I got free nail polish because she signed me up for the nail polish club. I hate nail-polish by the way and I really really tried to not get it, but she was like “you can’t pass up free stuff!” But it is red, so maybe I can use it for one of my Christmas arts and crafts projects. So after wasting time before going back to work, I went back to work and wanted to die. I hate being so busy all the time.

I got a credit-card again without even applying. Unless I have a split personality or I just forget that I do things sometimes. I don’t trust myself with credit cards, so I don’t have any. I used to but I maxed them all out and was a jobless college student that couldn’t even make my minimum payments on them. Eventually the finance charges caused them to get maxed out, and I started racking up these over-limit charges and I was freaking out. I’m really not good at finances … figures that I would have a degree in Finance! Anyways, my days of stupidity are hopefully over. I’ve paid most of them off, and I have a balance on one of them, but its not much. I cut the cards into tiny pieces and forced myself to un-memorize the card numbers. I still didn’t trust myself so I called them up and cancelled the cards.

Anyways, I am going to get this card because the interest rate is pretty low and its a Visa. I will only use it for emergencies, honestly. And I’m pretty lucky that I didn’t get myself into a lot of trouble and ruin my credit. Credit cards are EVIL! Attention college freshmen: do not sign up for credit cards to get free t-shirts. The false sense of having money only lasts for a small amount of time until you realize you have to pay it back. And the shirts are really ugly. However, Debit cards are really handy … they are practically like credit cards except you can’t spend more than you have. Definitely the best invention of the century!

Help me, I’m obsessed, deranged, and completely out of control. Someone needs to stop me from playing the Sims 2 before I jump into the game and become one. I’m sure I will grow tired of playing it the exact same day that I decide that I must spend all of my money on the ultimate Sims machine. I found some more memory when I was home during Turkey Day and it made the Sims VERY VERY happy! I would put more in but I’ve run out of slots.

Thanksgiving weekend was nice and relaxing, and I had lots of fun too! I traveled to FC on Wednesday night and did nothing which was actually nice. Thursday was Thanksgiving of course, and we went to my grandma’s house to have a feast. Everyone was drunk … except me. Even my brother was. My uncle eagerly fed him many cans of beer. I tried to drink some wine but it tasted like nail-polish remover (as usual). I am not too fond of Budweiser, and honestly I was just craving a good cup of coffee, which of course my grandmother provided for me.

I fixed their computer, which was the most messed up computer I have seen. It worked for about 3 minutes, then a bad error would come up and say the computer was shutting off in 30 seconds. I later found out it was a virus, but just to be safe I used their recovery CD and made the computer brand-new. My brother had installed Windows XP on it at some point and I don’t think the computer liked it very much. Its not an old computer, but its a crappy HP like mine, so changing from anything other than how it came is not a good idea. That is one reason that I’m afraid to format my computer. Hewlett Packard’s have some type of built in evil-gnome that comes out if you mess with it. Seriously! I’m not kidding.

Anyways, the turkey dinner was tasty, and I was satisfied. I like going to my grandma’s the best because my mom’s side of the family is so abnormal. But it is great because I fit right in and I can say whatever I want. I can talk about butts and gay sex if I want. Nobody would get offended. My dad’s side of the family is annoying, and they just constantly ask you how you are, what you are doing, where you live, how is your job, all those questions that I loathe answering even once, let alone the 100 times I actually have to answer each individual person. If I have to go to another family function again with them I think that I will suggest a “presentation style” get-together. Every person will get a turn to stand in front of the rest of the family and answer every possible embarrasing question that the audience can think of. That way, you only have to answer it once.

Anyways … on with the tales of Thanksgiving. On Friday my mom, dad, and I went to WalMart to check out the haps of their super day after Thanksgiving sale. We got there around 12, so we missed the 5 hour super-sale, but nothing good was on sale anyways. I was kind of looking for the sandwich maker that was on sale for $4.77 but I didn’t find it. After the WalMart escapade, we went to Big Lots and I did find a sandwich maker there that I liked.

Later that day, my mother and I began our Christmas Tree scheming. See, my dad HATES putting up the Christmas Tree and always waits until the last minute. This makes my mom sad because she wants the Christmas tree up right away (like me). My mom said that my dad would do it because I was home and I have powers that she does not have. So my mom and I proceeded to dig all of the Christmas decorations out of the basement and we began decorating the house. My dad was being a Scrooge-meister and was yelling at us. I found my very sad Christmas Tree in the basement and I could not revive it. It is about 3-feet tall and it sits in a pot. No matter what I did, the pot kept making my tree look like a shrub. So I went to WalMart and purchased styrofoam supplies to create a tree stand. When I got back my dad was putting garland on the bannister (hey, its a start!) I began to concoct a tree stand using my styrofoam, sticks, and a glue-gun. My dad gave me the most awesome kitty-wreath that has a motion detector which plays Christmas music with an overlay of “Meow Meow Meow”. I was very very happy. Anyways, my mom and I had finished decorating and I had finished my Christmas Tree, and my dad layed on the couch and played with the cat. Our scheming was not going as planned.

BUT, when I woke up on Saturday morning, the Christmas tree was in the process of being built! Success! Woola! I kind of sat around and drank coffee all morning and then my long lost friend Jamie called me. I was sort of bummed because I was coming back to my apartment that night, but we decided we could still go shopping at the dollar store, my ultimate goal, and hang out for a bit. She conned me once again (that con-artist), forcing me to go to Payless Shoes and visit my long time arch-enemy whom I haven’t spoken to in years. I don’t have much to say about it, except that um … I had a bad dream that she tried to kick me in the eyeballs with her slouch boots. Watch-out … if you have been avoiding Payless Shoes for the last few years … you had better start avoiding WalMart too. So anyways, we went to the dollar-store and we both went crazy and filled up carts with Christmas decorations. I spent $35 there! Keep in mind that every single item there is $1 … and I got a 10% discount. I think Jamie spent nearly $30 as well. After that, my tales of grandeur pretty much end. I came back to my cave … *cough* I mean apartment that night, decorated my apartment …. played the Sims all day on Sunday and went back to work today.

I am very excited about my Christmas decorations and I am going to post pictures of my revamped apartment as soon as I’m done. I think I should stop now. This entry is long enough, but I haven’t written in a while so I’m making up for it!

I just ate a turkey dinner at Kings. Oops, I forgot that I would be eating a real turkey dinner again this week. It is ok, I never get tired of turkey dinners. They are scrumpie-liscious. Lets recap the weekend, shall we? Ok.

On Friday I went to work which wasn’t so bad because Friday’s are fun and only 6 hours long! After work, Todd and I went out to dinner for his birthday. We went to Outback Steak House and ate some kangaroos. Afterwards we went to WalMart to walk around and digest our full tummies. Then we went bowling at some bowling place in Monroeville. I won both times, my highest score was 102. Not great but I’m always happy to break 100. After that we went to Todd’s and watched “Dreamcatcher”, which is the most fucked up Stephen King movie I’ve ever seen. Well maybe not … it was definitely fucked up, but wasn’t really as interesting as a lot of them. Here is a quick synopsis: Aliens from outerspace crash into Earth and begin infecting humans and animals with a “disease”. The disease causes them to get really fat stomachs and fart A LOT. Eventually they pass out and bleed to death, and an alien comes out of their ass. The alien is a worm that lays eggs, and the eggs hatch into mini-baby aliens. This sounds like something I would have written when I was 15. It was interesting to watch, but a few times I just had to stop and think, “My God, I am watching a movie about aliens coming out of people’s asses!” Hahahaha.

On Saturday I played the Sims all day and that was about it. At night I went over to Todd’s and hung out with him and the cat. Today I slept until like 1:00 while Todd was at church. I couldn’t help it. Kitty was snuggling with me and I was so warm and comfy. Then we went to Kings where I ate a tasty turkey dinner. Mmmm.

Thanksgiving is coming soon. Blah. I am going to my grandma’s for Thanksgiving. I have to work on Wednesday since I have like zero vacation until January. I am taking Friday off though, so woohoo, big long weekend!

I have no money because every bill on the earth needs to be paid, and it sucks because I need a stash of money for Christmas. I got my first bill for my new phone and it was like $180. Gah!! It’s actually for two phones (me & my brother) and there was $36 activation fee for each phone, plus all of the ringtones, internet usage, and other NON FREE stuff that my brother ignored when I told him not to use the internet! Garr Matey! But still, the phones cost like $70 a month, but the taxes are about $25!!! What is that? Anyways, I am switching the plan hopefully since my brother and I managed to use less than 400 minutes between the two of us and we have 1050 minutes. Also, my phone company just merged with Cingular so I got this thing that said I could switch to a Cingular nation plan which probably has some crazy promotions going on. Plus it offers rollover minutes, so that is cool.

Now it is Sunday and I have managed to do nothing this weekend. Well nothing productive. I was supposed to do laundry and buy fruit at the grocery store. I don’t want to go to the laundromat and I don’t want to go to the grocery store. I don’t want to do anything! Well, maybe I will go shopping and buy some new clothes since I have nothing clean to wear to work tomorrow. At least nothing clean that I want to wear. Oh yeah, and I’m fat. I can’t fit into my clothes anymore and it is very upsetting. I think I have gained 10 pounds at least and I feel disgusting. I need Cindy Crawford and my trampoline but they just aren’t appealing to me. Maybe I’ll just cheat and go get lyposuction. Just kidding, don’t think its that bad! I just need to tone myself up a bit and take some pounds off my rounding butt. Oh well, sitting on my butt is fun.

Bye.

I have not updated this in a while and I’m sorry. I have a new obsession that has been consuming 99% of my time away from work. I am obsessed with Sims 2. I’m not obsessed with the actual playing of the game though. I’m obsessed with getting the game to work on my computer. I know my computer is probably getting old, but I thought it was good enough to play a game! Wow, I was wrong. I didn’t even meet the minimum requirements for this game. My built in video card would not even run the game at all. Well, actually the makers of The Sims 2 would not allow me to run the game. I found a way around it, and was able to play in a window, but not full screen. It was really slow though, so I went out and bought a new video card for my computer. It wasn’t cheap either. So the Sims worked for about a day and now it just freezes and crashes. Since I have built more than one house, it refuses to cooperate. I did meet the minimum requirements of 256 MB of RAM to play the game. Apparently this is the minimum requirement to be able to build one house. After one house, 256 MB no longer works and wants more. This is crap. Now I have realized that I just need a new computer. I want to play the game and I have invested time and money into this, so bite me Sims. Who the heck has a computer able to run this insane game? My computer is about 2.5 years old, but it has been well maintained. It has 1.2 GHZ, 256MB Ram, and now this new fancy video card. What else do you want people!! I think that Sims creators knew how addicting this game is, and they are probably in cahoots with the computer maker people, making commission on every new computer sold to those desperate people who want to play Sims but can’t on their “NORMAL” run of the mill computer.

What else can I go grumble grumble about??? Oh, I know. I went to the eye doctor last Monday and had my eye exam since I have been wearing the same pair of contacts since July. Now I have insurance but was too lazy to go. They won’t give me my regular contacts and are being retarded. They said that my contacts would be ready on Wednesday(last Wednesday). Today is already a week later and they just told me that they are on backorder and will not be ready until the week after next! What! I’ve never ever had to wait for contacts before. Not even one day. I always went, got my eye exam, and left with my contacts. Who do these people get their contacts through? The North Pole? Ughh.

Work is crazy as always. Probably why I don’t feel like coming home and typing or looking at words on a screen. Probably why I don’t feel like updating, and if you have emailed me I haven’t checked that in some time either. I get so many emails and stare at so many screens at work all day … all I want to do when I come home is play the big colorful Sims game. Or watch TV. Or stare at the wall. I like my job, but it sucks. I’m tired of other countries, other languages, weird people who call me and know who I am yet I am clueless as to who they are or where they got my number. I want to be a Sims creator. I am going to make a game that works for normal people.

Besides Sims, contacts, work …. um nothing. I have no life. I’m boring. I smell like a gerbil. I’ve been in anti-social mode lately. I think I get my fill of people at work. When I come home I just want to be alone. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. If you will just chill with me, no questions asked … then fine. If I have to expend energy just to talk to you, then I don’t have the energy to do it. And if you really need to find me, I’ll be playing the Sims. Or at the grocery store. Or sleeping. Or on the couch watching TV. Maybe I’ll be dancing along to my Cindy Crawford video or hanging out somewhere with Todd. Or hanging out with his cat. Or spying on my landlord to find out if he really died. Or out buying a cat when I confirm that he is dead or incapacitated. Until then, I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m fine.