For the first time in like a month, I’m home on my lunch break. I haven’t lost the passion of coming home for lunch where there is nothing to eat or drink in my refrigerator, I’ve just been too busy to take a lunch break at work. Although my job isn’t physically exhausting, sometimes I think my brain is going to melt. And then I wonder why I come home from work with little motivation to do anything but stare at the television. Sometimes I just want to hide inside because I feel that if I run into one more conflict in the course of the day I’m going to explode. Like the coffeemaker incident. But I’m happy. The kid that is working under my wing is wonderful. I was so impressed today, I wanted to hug him. He’s fixing my rolodex. See, I ordered one back in the day but never had time to actually put anything in it. I’ve been collecting information on post-its and I have a rubberband around my old rolodex cards, but I’ve never had time. Today he started the “someone needs a rolodex” project and I’m loving it. I will finally be able to have the contact information that I desparately need right at my fingertips. Instead of filtering my email to find someone’s address or phone number, its going to be right there! And I went out for coffee and when I came back he said “Don’t get mad if you look over and see me surfing the internet, but some of these places I can find online and you don’t have the complete information written down.” OH my God, I wanted to kiss him. Why can’t everyone I work with be smart enough to take the initiative to find things!
So Hurricane Rita is officially a category five hurricane and I’ve heard on the news that it could be as devastating to Texas as it was to Mississippi. I’m feeling pretty sad about all of it. I think its set to hit Texas on Saturday. The almighty media has also proclaimed that this hurricane will hike the gas prices back up to over $3 a gallon, but shouldn’t last too long. In Pittsburgh terms, this probably means gas prices will go back up to at least $3.20 and since I haven’t seen anywhere recently with gas under $2.79 its not good news. I researched gas prices around the country and it seems like the northeast has the highest prices. Texas, California, Florida … gas is all like $2.39 there. Although I don’t drive and shouldn’t complain about gas prices, I’m sure it is affecting me in some way. I never seem to have money anymore. I don’t know where it is all going. Maybe its coffee. I also heard that coffee has gone up a lot since Hurricane Katrina and will continue to rise after Hurricane Rita. This can’t be good. To me, coffee equals gas. I can’t live without it, and I can’t go to work without it. If I do not have coffee, I cannot get out of bed. Its pathetic and I’m not trying to brag about my patheticness, I just need caffeine and I don’t really think its hurting me that much. I don’t need gallons of it actually. If I have one sip its like I’ve been recharged. I’m good to go. Some days I need more than others, but life is tough. Coffee is makes it easier.
I spoke to my parents the other day. They’re funny. My mom is awesome and gives me such good advice. She makes me feel like I’m doing the right things which makes it much easier when I’m constantly questioning myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing something or not doing something and its going to end up being the biggest regret of my life. My mom totally puts these thoughts right out of my head. I swear, without my mom and grandma, I’d be a mess right now. Then there is my dad. I think he needs some Prozac or something. He rants to no end about fleas. He won’t stop. And then he says that my mom is a crackhead and gives him absolutely no support whatsoever on anything and ignores the fact that he is having a nervous breakdown. Ok, I’m not taking sides. I love my mom and dad the same. I know neither of them are perfect but they refuse to compromise. My dad could be less spazzed about everything and maybe my mom could be more supportive about his nervous breakdown resulting from fleas in the house, but seriously …. its all just a bit ridiculous. They’ve been living together for 24 years now and you’d think that they’d be able to deal with something as insignificant as freaking fleas in the house. Come on. My mom needs to stop ignoring the fact that there is a problem and try to be helpful in bathing the cats, washing bedsheets, vacuuming, etc … and I think my dad just needs to chill out. He keeps telling me he is going to slit their throats and burn down the house and don’t be surprised when it is a headline in the newspaper. Be rational …. I’ve been told in the past that I do not react rationally to stupid problems I have, but I’m working on it. I’m calmer. I am NEVER going to turn into a spaz. I freakin’ refuse. I can’t and I won’t. I also refuse to be my mother. She sits around the kitchen table all day and draws pictures on cards, watching TV, sipping on her drink of choice, and the house could be burning down and she wouldn’t notice it because she notices nothing and nothing is ever a problem. They are such complete opposites and I cannot figure out how they can even live together. I think they’ve been great role models! They’ve taught me that being insane is ridiculous so my goal is to not be like either of them … even though I love them SO much and I hope my kids love me the same way someday no matter what I’m like. Maybe I’ve just gotten a bit of each of them in me, so I’m kind of in the middle – not a complete spaz, but not ignorant of the fact that problems exist and there is a world outside of the pink kitchen and glitter pens.
Oh parents, what would I do without you? 😛
