Coffeebration

I need a get rich quick scheme, a bag of money, or a new job. The new job is probably most realisitic. Anyways, Courtney and I are going on vacation this summer and I really can’t afford it but I might as well has some fun for a week because I certainly make up for it the rest of the year. Yeah, I’m lacking in the fun department. Sometimes I stick my fingers in electrical sockets because I’m bored.

My weekend was fun though. Went out with Bryan and some of his co-workers to Texas Roadhouse where you can throw peanut shells on the floor. I found that it was more entertaining to throw them on Bryan but I was probably the only one enjoying that. On Saturday I went out with Julie to Silky’s Bar and we drank some beers and talked about stuff like jobs and wedding planning. The rest of my weekend time was allotted to talking to Bryan or playing Sims.

Other than that, my life is dull and I don’t have anything good to write about. I go to work. I come home after work and do nothing. I’m not happy and I’m not sad. I’m bored and lonely, and indifferent about mostly everything. I have absolutely no anxiety or trouble sleeping though so maybe I’m depressed. Am I depressed? I don’t know because I also don’t cry and for those who really know me, you know that I cry on average at least 2 times a week about something. I haven’t cried in a long long time, maybe months. My mom would be proud of me, she always yells at me for being such a wuss.

I’m looking forward to vacation, moving, buying a car, and visiting my grandma.

When I was a kid I used to love the bugs I’d find under rocks. There were three main bugs that lived under rocks. First, there were those slimy things. I called them slugs and we used to pour salt on them and watch them melt. Then there were the bugs with the shells that I called “rollie-pollie bugs”. They could roll up into a ball and look like little pellets. Then there were the long ones with a million legs and I called those centipedes. I actually think they may have been millipedes. Regardless, I would take those any day over centipedes. There are real live centipedes in my apartment and they make me want to puke when I see them. They are huge with thousands of legs and they can run REALLY FAST! They like to hide in dark places and scare the living hell out of me. Sometimes I’m sitting on my couch and happen to glance over and see this huge bug running like 10 mph across my floor! And NEVER leave a pair of pants on the floor because they like to crawl into the pant legs. I learned that lesson by picking up a pair of pants and having centipede come flailing out. One day I was researching centipedes on the internet and I found out that they actually sting and bite and can cause pain that is equivalent to a bee sting. I freak out when there is a bee or wasp in my apartment, now knowing that there are evil centipedes lurking in the dark corners of my apartment just freaks me out soooo bad. I NEVER walk barefoot in here. I only see one maybe once a week and it isn’t like I’ve ever found a nest of them or anything, but they’re around and I know it. Yesterday I was doing laundry and was rearranging clothes in my laundry basket when one just appeared and ran over my hand! I screamed bloody murder. It wasn’t just the fact that it was a creepy bug that can sting me … its just that nobody really expecets or wants bugs crawling out of their clothes!!! Anyways, this time I chased him and I sprayed him good with my ‘organic bug spray’ hehe. He got all slow and shriveled up in a ball and he died. Then I vaccumed him up in the sweeper. I actually don’t really like to have to kill bugs, but I make an exception for centipedes.

The End.

I’m on a plan and execute mission this year.

I’m officially moving in the end of July / beginning of August. I will not miss Oakland or my 90 year old annoying landlord who lives across the street and peers into my window. I’m excited. I think I’m going to start packing this week. I will however miss walking to work.

Sometime at the end of summer, I will actively seek to find a new job. I will miss random paid holidays such as today and tomorrow (especially since it’s almost 80 degrees out and not a cloud in sight). I will not miss the drama and headache my job causes me daily. I’ve had it, seriously.

I may or may not go to the beach this summer. I would like to but Courtney needs to get on the ball. But honestly, I could afford to skip the beach this year. I like to waste all of my money right here in Pittsburgh. I’m also open to invitations for fun summer activities. Because I’ll die if I don’t get out of Pittsburgh for a few days.

No later than November, I am buying a car. Maybe earlier. One, I do not plan to commute to my job in the winter, and two, a car will make it much easier to find a more awesome job somewhere else. This requires me to get over my fear of driving, but I’m a grown up and I want to go places and put stuff in my car and visit my grandma whenever I want damnit. I’m kind of excited actually. I want to buy a shiny red car. I also like black cars, but they look dirty. Oh and blue cars are nice too. My friend has a really pretty blue Hyundai but I don’t think I’d buy a Hyundai. But I might buy a blue car. I also like my brothers dark green Saturn. It’s nice but I think I want a smaller car. But if by chance he happened to murder someone and go to jail, I’d glady take it off my parents hands for a while. I would also keep it much cleaner make it smell like a girl car.

The year will end and Christmas will be here, my favorite holiday. I will be broke and in more debt than I am now by then since I have expensive plans, so don’t rely on great Christmas presents from me. Unless I win the lottery. Then I’ll be living on an island. But for that to happen, I need to start playing the lottery and that isn’t part of ‘the plan’. So I guess I’ll be here.

Two pictures from Saturday night. I have more, but most of them contain a weird dude who liked having his picture taken and kept asking if our trucker boyfriends were going to come beat him up. Gotta love Ford City. I was going to take family Easter photos but the only one I mustered up the motivation to take was one of my brother whipping off the camera. I’ll post more someday … I really need to get on the photo album project.

Excitement is in the air, I got Sims to work on my computer and I get to spend the next two days playing it as much as I want cause everyone else will be at work and I’ll be getting paid to play grown-up computer barbies. I’m quite excited. Although I think I’ll go outside tomorrow, it’s supposed to be nice! I’m so excited for summer!

Ok I really didn’t mean to make Sims and paid holiday’s seem more important than some real good news … Julie, my amiga muy bueno is getting married! I’m quite pumped for the rockin’ 90’s wedding she’s planning, but most of all I’m quite happy for her and Nate. I think I should just mention that once Julie bit me on the leg and caused a circular mouth shaped bruise and she has punched me more times than I can remember. We were also born two days apart and without her I would have never made up the line “You are the fuzz on my peach, without you I am merely a nectarine.” Of course I wrote that for Julie but I guess I can survive without fuzz or bruises. And one time Nate did something evil to my cell phone and everytime I turned it on it said “I love Jed6”. It was especially fun when I had to take my phone to Radio Shack and the guy turned it on and saw it. He didn’t say anything, but still … what kind of loser is in love with someone named Jed??? And by the way, who is Jed? Seriously, I have no idea. That was my toast for your wedding, congratulations guys!!

I also had the most awesome weekend in a long time. I got to get dressed up and wear a skirt (which I haven’t done in like 5 years). I got to take a bubble bath, stay in an awesome hotel that had a big flat screen TV (that I am sure I watched no longer than 4 minutes) and a coffeemaker with Starbucks coffee, which someone made for me on Sunday morning … mmmmm!!!! We also went to Mt. Washington and took pictures of Pittsburgh because I will never get tired of going up there, I love looking at the city, especially on such a nice day. I’m posting some pictures below. They’ll be captionless and if you read this paragraph you can make up your own story to go along.

Yesterday was April Fool’s day and I completely forgot so I guess I’ll just have to pick a random day and fool someone. Be warned, “Jess feels like messing with you Day”, (JFLMWYD for short) is coming soon!

I made chocolate chip cookies and chicken yesterday. Now I have a big container of cookies that will never get eaten because I can tolerate about one cookie or sweet thing a week. Once I eat something sweet I just want to pour salt in my mouth. Bryan did eat two of them though … and I ate two, so now I only like 25 cookies to get rid of. Today I made homemade cheesy potatoes with velveeta cheese sauce. I just tasted some of it and its good, but it isn’t my moms. It was her recipe and she made it during Christmas and I loved it so much. But then again, nothing tastes like my mom’s food. Not even a grilled cheese sandwich. My mom is just magic I guess.

The other night I went out with Julie, Nate, Bill and Steve and I learned from Steve that I am going to die because I am left-handed. Yes, I will die from a random accident when I attempt to use something that is designed for right-handed people. I better start practicing being right-handed. Except I think there is more of a likelihood that I’d die attempting to use something with my right-hand because I can’t do anything right-handed except cut with scissors.

I went to the movies with Bryan and saw Basic Instinct 2. It was pretty good but I was still kind of confused at the end. Maybe I should have watched the first one. Next week he invited me to a work-function thing that involves dressing up which is fun. But the best part involves a hotel room and getting to take a bubble bath. I can’t wait! I hope this week goes by fast.

I’ve kind of lost interest in writing much lately. I guess I can’t think of anything to complain about, and that’s definitely not a bad thing.

If you didn’t guess already …. the answer is simple. They all suck. I guess I wasn’t feeling so great today since I’m nearing the 24 hour mark of having a headache that kind of comes and goes but hasn’t completely gone away. I decided to take a trip downtown on my lunch hour today to take care of some personal stuff. Of course I got lost and had the wrong building anyways, so it was a huge waste of time. I blame Pittsburgh and their website which clearly gave me the wrong address. Ughh, I guess I’ll give it another try tomorrow. I was so aggravated and didn’t know that the place I needed to go was also still downtown. Now I know, please don’t give me crap when I get there tomorrow, ok? Today I also needed a copy of my comcast bill to prove my address. I pay no utilities here so cable is about the only thing that will prove I have something in my name here. Apparently credit card statements and that kind of stuff don’t qualify. I signed up for paperless statements a while ago so I printed out my online statement but there is NOWHERE on the statement that actually has my name. So that was great. I called Comcast and asked them to fax me a copy of my bill with my name on it. After being transferred three times, I was told that they would ‘request it’ for me but they couldn’t promise it would get faxed to me. So yeah, I am asking them a favor, but consider that I am saving them money every month by not getting a paper statement, I pay over $100 a month, and I’m a long-standing customer who pays on time. One lousy fax shouldn’t be too much to ask for. Geeeeesh. I had called at 9:30 a.m. The fax came at 4:00 p.m. At least it came (with the first three letters of my name cut off) …. no further comments on that. And finally, Giant Eagle. I went grocery shopping (yes shocking!) after work today and I really despise the newly remodeled Giant Eagle in Shadyside. After making three big circles around the store, I finally asked someone where the bread was. It wasn’t obvious to me that the bread would be in the aisle with diapers and shampoo. Perhaps I shouldn’t have assumed that bread couldn’t possibly be mixed in with hygiene products, because afterall it is still Giant Eagle.

I have concluded that coffee from Kiva Han is no better than coffee from the Exxon Station across from where I work. I love that coffee so much, I drink it everyday. Now the Exxon Station is going out of business, or rather … the franchise owner is selling it back to the corporation and that makes me sad. It seriously has to stay open because it is in a huge lot right on Forbes Avenue and Pittsburgh is going to start looking pretty bad if huge gas stations on main roads start shutting down. But anyways, the store is bare and there’s really nothing to buy there except coffee. I just hope that the new owners maintain the superior quality of the coffee. If not, that alone will be an excuse for me to find a new job. Every job I ever have must have good coffee readily accessible for me to drink.

Today I saw a turkey in our parking lot at work. Then someone proceeded to send out an email to everyone saying I saw a turkey. Then began this chain of emails saying I could add ‘turkey spotter’ to my resume, and then an email saying that I didn’t even need a resume because I was never going to leave. I refused to respond to any of them. I really must find a new job at some point sooner rather than later. Others spotted the turkey later on, so I felt a little better. Yesterday at work I won a Starbucks giftcard, and next month I’m going to start taking foreign language lessons, I’m already signed up and ready to become bilingual. It’s just weird that I sit at work all day and never know what half of the people are saying. They could be standing right beside me talking shit on me and I’d have no idea. That’s all. Wow, isn’t my life exciting?

When I was in high school I seriously believed in my horoscope. Before the internet existed I used to read them everyday in the newspaper. Every month I bought a scroll at the checkout counter at the grocery store. I couldn’t wait to get home and unroll my horoscope scroll and read all about what was going to happen that month. I used to get the Keen daily horoscope everyday in my email and there were a ton of other horoscopes that I read daily. But one day, my horoscope really let me down, so much that I never believed in horoscopes again.

It was Valentines Day my sophomore year of college. My day started out just fine, until my horoscope came in my email. They were usually pretty vague, but this one gave specific details. It said that someone who used to be a big part of my life had parted ways with me six months ago. The horoscope said I would see this person or hear from this person on that day. It was almost exactly six months ago that my ex and I had stopped talking, and … it was Valentines Day. And I still cared about him. I seriously thought it was a sign from above and that it just had to happen. So I waited all day. He never called, he didn’t show up, no Valentines Day card in my mailbox. Nothing.

It crushed me, but not my spirit. I still have cheesy and romantic dreams of living happily ever after and I believe that if something is meant to happen it will. Maybe someday I’ll be on a plane to Vegas to get married to this guy I’m not sure I really love (and I don’t know it, but he cheats on me). I had met another really sweet guy who I thought might be the one, but when I went to his house earlier to tell him I was falling for him, his ex answered the door wearing nothing but his Van Halen t-shirt (of course it was a big misunderstanding but I don’t know this). So I’m on the plane feeling kind of sorry for myself, but realizing that if I don’t get married I’ll have nobody, and face it, I’m not getting any younger. Then, suddenly, a song comes on over the loud-speaker. I recognize the voice. It sounds like that guy I was falling in love with. Then, the curtain to first-class opens and he comes walking out with his guitar, serenading me! My fiance tries to beat him up, but Billy Idol slams him with a food tray and I get to enjoy my song. And then … we kiss! Then we get married and live happily ever after. Mmmm, except I’m not Drew Barrymore, and I’m not in love with Adam Sandler …. and The Wedding Singer was a made up story, but it was a damn good movie!!!! Oh well, everyone has dreams, right? I’d settle for a hug, some flowers, and an “I love you”. Unfortunately the only guys who love me are related to me, and thankfully they don’t love me the way I need to be loved. I mean, that would be sick.

Anyways, there was a point to this and now I forget. Something about my horoscope I read today, which I have forgotten now and I’m too lazy to go back and read it. Instead you get the usual rambling I’m so good at. I don’t know why I never stay focused on one topic without getting sidetracked and going on about something else.

About a month ago I went to the bank and requested a new debit card because mine is made out of styrofoam and it breaks or wears out at least every six months. I know I swipe a lot, but if it isn’t made to endure the expiration date then I think that they should give me free ones. Anyways, I was told that my current card would continue to work until I activated my new card. I did not know that there was a time limit set to do so and so my new shiny card is still unactivated and thought I’d just use my old card until it broke in half. But today when I tried to use the ATM machine, I got a loud beep and a receipt that said ‘card has been retained, please contact your financial institution’. I didn’t even think it could possibly be because I had ordered a new card … because I had just used the card an hour earlier at Radio Shack to purchase a new set of fancy headphones for my mp3 player. So I came home and called the bank, fearing that the FBI had taken over my checking account (hehe). But I was just told that my card was no longer active. So I asked ‘well should I go to the bank that took my card and get it back?’ I would have tried to do so when it initially happened, but the bank was closed. They said ‘no, they’ll just destroy it anyways … it is no good.’ I wish people would tell me important details like this and I would have activated my new card and not felt like a big retard. Oh well.

I have another problem. I’ve fallen in love with sleeping in my bed, which shouldn’t be a bad thing, but it is really affecting my ability to get up and go to work. When I wake up in the morning I feel so sad about having to wake up. I have this idea in my head that I’ll go to work and come home at the end of the day and get right back in bed. Thinking about getting back into my bed later is actually my only incentive to get out of bed in the morning. Some mornings I decide I’m going to go to work and do all the shit I need to do really fast and play sick so I can come running back home and hop into my bed. This never happens, and by the time I actually do get home from work, going back to bed isn’t as appealing as it was when I woke up. Sure my bed is great, but I don’t want to go to bed at 5:30 p.m. unless I’m sick or sleep deprived.

Another problem I have been having is that I keep dreaming about work right before I wake up. One morning I even had a dream that work was cancelled and I thought it was real. Mornings are really confusing and most of the time I have to actually get up and sit on my couch for about five minutes before I can determine if my dreams were real or not. I think it is mostly because I tend to dream about work every morning. Then I wake up in this state of panic and think that I really was supposed to be at work at 6:30 a.m. to hang up streamers and carve pumpkins. I have very lucid dreams sometimes and I seriously don’t think that one day in my life has gone by that I haven’t remembered my dreams. If you are a long time reader you may have noticed that I haven’t posted any weird end of the world nightmares lately. Lucky for me, I haven’t had a nightmare like that in quite some time. I think it was the anxiety and sleeping problems that made me dream like that. Now that I have minimal anxiety and no life, there is nothing left to dream about except work. It’s sad.

I guess I’m done torturing whoever is reading this. Don’t worry, if something cool ever happens, my blog will inform you. I can’t say it is likely but I’m not going to be a complete pessimist … I’d say that there is at least a 1% chance that something good will happen someday before I die.