Coffeebration

Thursday, June 27 2002

I just walked in the bathroom and instead of turning the light on, I turned it off! I am used to turning the light on when I walk in and apparently I am not prepared for instances when the light is already on. It’s off now. Today was el dia del muerte. I woke up at 9am to get ready to meet my grandparents at Montefoire hospital. My grandfather had an appointment at the dental center there so I went to meet him and my grandma so we could hang out and get really drunk and high. That hospital is very confusing. First, I couldn’t find the main entrance to Montefoire, so I just decided to go in the main entrance at Presbyterian Hospital and walk across the “bridge”. More on the bridge in a minute. So, I get into Presbyterian and go up to the third floor to get on the bridge, which I accidentally called a tunnel …. shame on me! While walking across the bridge, I encountered a friendly employee and decided to ask him if there were any crazy secrets to get to the second floor. He asked me where I needed to go, and I told him that I needed to go to the dental center, but I wasn’t sure where to go after going through the “oops” TUNNEL. “Tunnel! Aaaah!” he shouts at me. “It’s a bridge, bridge, bridge, NOT a TUNNEL — why does everyone ALWAYS call it a tunnel?” Well, I think of it as a tunnel because a bridge has air in it. A tunnel is enclosed by four walls, but I guess I was wrong — because if it has windows, then it is also DEFINITELY a bridge. A tunnel has no windows. I didn’t really feel like arguing with him because he worked there and he would know whether it was a bridge or a tunnel. And yes, there was a secret to getting to the dental center. I had to go from 8th floor to the 7th floor, walk down a corridor for 8 miles, hop onto scary breaking elevators, take that elevator to 2, then make 14 right turns. I made it there though, so yay! I sat in the waiting room next to a humorous elderly couple. They were reading the newspaper and the man was telling his wife about some kind of new fake diamonds that were almost identical to real diamonds. The wife said “But they still aren’t real!” The husband says “What the hell does it matter? Who is going to know?” The wife replies “An appraiser would know! I wonder how much my diamond ring is worth.” The husband replies, “Two dollars.” They were just funny, guess you would have had to be there. 27 hours later my grandparents come out of the tooth center and my grandma screams in glee. “Come here and give me a hug!!!” So I hugged her and my grandfather said he was dying and had to have his mouth removed! Wonderful!!! We went to Joe Mama’s for lunch and my grandpa was being a poop head. He was acting like he was 2 and refused to eat anything but a bowl of soup and some beer. My grandma and I got pasta salad with olives and salami. It wasn’t the best dish I’ve ever had, but it was big and yummy enough for me. When I got back to my apartment, my mood had swiftly changed from happy grandparents mood to destroy the world mood. I was feeling irritable and found myself swearing at many inanimate objects. My camera had magically arrived in the hallway while I was gone, but that did not really cheer me up. In fact, I think the camera added more hate, death, and destruction to my mood. I hated it and wanted to destroy it and everything around me. I was ready to destroy the world but decided to go to sleep instead. I think I was just sick of being hot-yucky and feeling like poop on a stick. I slept all day long and didn’t get up until around 9pm. It was the greatest thing ever! I love love love love sleeping, especially when it rains. It rained and rained, there was a huge storm because I heard thunder two times! And of course our power went out multiple times, but that is to be expected when there is rain with thunder (2 Times!) Wha-cha cha. After I woke up, I walked around the apartment and then went to Crossroads to buy some new clothes. I super-cleaned the kitchen and took pictures of it with my new camera. I really didn’t have anything to take pictures of besides Courtney, and the kitchen pictures are so much nicer. I think I will take pictures of all the rooms when they are clean and make a virtual tour of our apartment. Then I will take pictures of all the rooms when they are dirty and make another virtual tour.

I am going to sleep in my nice big bed now. Goodnight.

Wednesday, June 26 2002

Here is a list of things that make me happy and a corresponding list of things that make me unhappy.

I’m happy because:

My boyfriend sings me songs.
I found money in my bag of tostitos
There are little tomatoes sprouting on my tomato plant
I will be 21 in one month and 2 days

I am unhappy because:

It is seriously too hot to live.
I sweat profusely and have to change my clothes every hour.
I cannot sleep.
There is animated/talking farm machinery on TV.
There are pimples on my face.

I made that list yesterday but my feelings towards these issues have not significantly changed in the last 24 hours. Nothing has happened since my last update. I didn’t fall into a coma preventing me from life, but nothing sensational has really occurred over the past five days. I don’t remember doing anything on Sunday which probably means that I really did nothing. Todd came over at some point and it was scorching hot outside. We sat outside on the balcony and had fun with ice cubes. I think it temporarily cooled us off. Todd did some laundry and we walked to Sunoco. Courtney came back Monday night, and her, myself, Kelly, and Nathan played Mario Kart, ate ice cream, and drank some beer. On Tuesday I listened to Todd sing songs about selling me as a pez dispenser. I fell asleep at 2am and woke back up at 6am. I resuscitated my love for Big Money from 6am-8am and then fell back asleep. Today Courtney went on a date with a boy named Kevin. Apparently she had a good time because they are planning on getting married next week. Todd came over and brought me a present ala blender. It is the most awesome gift in the entire world, and although he didn’t have to buy me anything to prove that he is the best boyfriend in the universe, it sure didn’t hurt anything. We watched some TV while Courtney gave us a recap of her date. She informed me that I tried to get it on with her lover which I was unaware of. Then she kicked Todd in the stomach and hurt him. She proceeded to lock us out on the balcony and go away. I think she is on a quest to destroy my life. I am meeting my grandparents for lunch tomorrow so I should probably go to sleep. BZZYE

Saturday, June 22, 2002

It’s that time again, time to enlighten you with the earth-shattering events that have occurred in my life since my last update. I can’t remember what I did on Thursday, but Todd came over at some point and showed me how to use MIRC, which is a really cool program that doesn’t work. Courtney and I cooked a wholesome meal that consisted of raviolis, rotten salad, and garlic bagels. Well I think that is all I did on Thursday. On Friday, Todd and I went to the South Side to get some chicken on a stick. It was perhaps the best chicken I have ever eaten. Then we came back to my apartment and hung out. Todd played with his new phone while Courtney and I looked at old pictures from when Courtney was pretty. Courtney also told me that she might have a date lined up next Friday but she doesn’t know anything about her date. That’s cool though! Todd and I made plans to go to Johnstown on Saturday to see the big Thunder in the Valley motorcycle parade, but we did not wake up early enough to go. We went to Johnstown anyways and we saw a lot of motorcycles. I ate some wonderful perogies at the festival and then I got to go for a ride with Todd in his mom’s mustang. It is a very pretty red 1965 mustang … I don’t think I ever rode in a mustang before, so I was quite excited. Today was also our one month anniversary YAY!! Tomorrow will be a day of death. So there’s the recap folks … want to hear what I have planned for the rest of my life?? OK!

Well, I plan to go to Heritage Days during some time frame between July 3 – 8. I just want to get egg rolls, that is really the only reason I want to go. I am not sure what I am going to do on the 4th of July. I would like to see the fireworks here in Pittsburgh because they are probably a lot nicer than the ones at home, but it really isn’t that important where I see them. Fireworks are fireworks, and they don’t give me an orgasm, so its not that big of a deal. On July 6th I am going to Idlewild Park with Todd for his church Picnic … I don’t think I have ever been there but I might have. Those are my only definite plans right now. I want to go to Kennywood some time before summer is over and I would also like to get really drunk sometime. I hope I do both of those things on the same day too. Kennywood + alcohol + rollercoasters = fun!! Courtney and I want to buy a piano to put in our living room. I don’t know how to play the piano, but I think I can learn. Ok, I think that is all.

And finally, in lieu of our One Month Anniversary, here is how it all came to be, exactly one month ago around 7:30pm! 😛


ME: how are ya
Todd
: hi there
Todd
: sorry, I was on the phone
ME: hi
ME: thats ok
Todd: so, when are we getting married tonight?
ME: haha 😛
Todd: so, you wanna make it serious?
ME: what?
Todd: us
Todd: as is formally speaking. you wanna go
out with me?
Todd: or in older sixties slang, you wanna go
steady?
ME
: be your girlfriend?
Todd: that could be the synonym I’m looking 4
ME: ok
ME: yes!
Todd: WOOHOO
ME: :-D:-*
Todd: This has to be the greatest moment my
life can ever offer me. except for the next time I see
you 😉

Let’s see what has happened since I last updated. On Sunday morning, I was awakened by the beautiful ring of the telephone around 10am. After sleeping for only 2 hours, due to the insane night of personal ads and fun in our hallway, I jumped right out of bed … eager to start my day. Todd, of course was the beautiful caller, requesting my accompaniment to a flea-market. How could I pass up a chance like that! So I hopped right out of bed like a happy bunny … too happy to even take a shower! Todd arrived, and we went on our merry way. The dazzling sunshine eating my eyeballs just added to the merriment, and coffee from Sheetz was just orgasmic! The flea-market kicked ass … Todd and I bought matching lamps (fuck you Julie). Todd got another painting for his apartment, and I bought some nails … exiting eh! Back in merry ol’ Pittsburgh, Todd and I got some food at Tom’s Diner in the Southside. I had a biggest and tastiest club sandwich … Todd ate some type of Buffalo-orange sandwich. It was about 4 degrees in the diner … I really didn’t understand why it was so cold, but the food was good! Then Todd and I went to his apartment and hung up his new painting. My non-showered body was feeling rather gross … actually just my hair, so i washed it in the bathtub and somehow managed to make it look ok without a hairbrush or a hairdryer … go me!! His grandparents came to visit and brought a cool table. We hung out for a while, and then we went to GE to buy some ingredients for our work of art … strawberry shortcake. We went back to his apartment and baked it. While the cake was in the oven I fell asleep on the floor. I guess my 2 hours of sleep had finally caught up with me. I don’t think I slept for long, but I really needed a nap because I was starting to feel grumpy. We finished making the cake and then we headed back to my apartment where we proceeded to eat the cake. It was very tasty. Afterwards, Todd and I spent some quality together … not that we hadn’t been together all day. I think he left around 3:30am. He has a curfew now though, so he won’t be staying that late anymore.

Ok, maybe it melted a little bit on the car on the way over to my house …. but it tasted MUCH better than it looks!

On Monday, Courtney and I went downtown so she could get her hair cut. I sat in a chair and read every single horoscope in every single magazine. Then I read a story about how guys can please women. I think that it was directed towards guys, but at least now I know how to please myself … just kidding. I got sick of reading the magazines, so I fell asleep with my eyes open, kind of dozed off into dream world. 6 hours later, Courtney came out … and looked the same. That’s a lot of hours for like no cutting. Anywzz … then Courtney and I went to the Arts Festival. I was starving, so I bought some cabbage and noodles ….. and it was the grossest thing I ever ate. There was like 34 pounds of greasy butter on it. After eating the blob of crap, I got really sick. Courtney was feeling pretty sick too … from her greasy blooming onion she ate. I ate some blooming onion too, just the combination of the disgusting grease made us want to die. On the way back, Courtney went to the liquor store and bought some kind of whiskey. We came back and I drank some with coffee. It said that you could mix it with coffee so I did. Later I went over to Todd’s and helped him hang up posters. I thought my sick stomach was gone, but it started to come back. think the combination of things that I had consumed that day was really not happy with my stomach. Todd brought me home because I felt ill, but as soon as I got back here I felt better. Weird. Then I found out that Courtney’s personal ad had been posted and that she had already gotten 23 messages on Yahoo. Soon afterwards, she discovered what I had done and she tried to kill me. Oh well, she has 23 potential boyfriends now. She will have to settle for that since I had to remove the ad.

Unfortunately I never got a screenshot of the ad, but this is the picture I put up for her. I’m afraid she was unusually hotter than usual in that picture. Hey … I was just tryin’ to help her out! Plus, she cut off all of my hair. You can see in the previous picture that it is slowly growing out, but I’m still pissed.

Today, I cleaned cleaned & cleaned and hung out with Todd. He made apple pie which, of course I helped myself to. I have been eating a lot of good food lately, but I don’t think I will worry about gaining any weight from it since all of my clothes are falling off of me anyways. I have some room to expand, but I don’t really plan on it. We have no cable. We have had no cable for 2 days. I called the cable company today … the cable was turned off. Now the whole not having cable thing makes sense. I was rather pissed off about it, feel that it was rather rude for someone to shut our cable off. Oh well, we are getting cable again on Thursday and will have more channels. Woo hoo, I am going to listen to some music now. Bye

Yesterday I went to the Arts Festival with Julie and Nate. I spent $400 on food, but it was pretty good. I got some pierogies, pizza, and Krispy Kremes. I have not eaten any of my Krispy Kremes yet … Courtney will eat them all before I have a chance … that’s ok though, I tasted one so that is all that counts. When I returned from the Arts Festival, I sat in my room for a while. Courtney informed me that Brian and Eric were coming to visit exactly 3 seconds before they got here. I like to shop at the Gap. Um anyways … we played Clue — The Great Museum Caper and Quick Wit. They drank wine and I drank coffee. Then I ran out of coffee, so I drank some wine. Maybe my state of drunkenness was due to a combination of caffeine and alcohol. I always thought the two would just cancel each other out, but I remember that my friends at IUP always used to pop Vivarin’s before drinking. I never did though … and I never really understood why. Whatever. The lads left around midnight, and then Todd came over and we hung out. We went to Crossroads at 4am to buy orange sherbet ….. and yumm it was good! Today started out as a really wonderful day, but as it progressed I became yucky and I didn’t feel very good. I took a shower and then I fell asleep. I woke up and my hair was dried to my head in an interesting position. Courtney and I bought groceries, and she made a tasty ice-cream treat that I was unable to eat because it was the size of a small cat. I was also talking to Todd at the time, and his story about smelly garbage killed the mood for food. However, I was filled with joy when a cute boy serenaded me with songs all about me. I’m cool, Yay Awe, whoo hoo!!! Julie, Courtney, and I sat in the dining room and talked about things such as bananas, boob condoms, and poop logs. Courtney did not enjoy our sex conversations even though we were just being stupid and making up crazy stories about things that would never happen. Courtney went to bed, and Julie and I tried to find Courtney a boyfriend. For some reason Julie’s mom was calling at 3am, and then at 5am Julie and I stood in the hallway, and made our phones ring n’sync. With our phones in one hand, and meowing/barking animal puppets on our other hand, we were causing quite a raucous in the hall and managed to wake Courtney up. It was fun though. I had a pretty good day and I don’t think I am going to get sick anymore, I just have emphysema.

I’m Ilosja, Eye-M me!

Thursday, June 13 2002

Another recap of events, I’m sure you couldn’t be more excited! Courtney just put my head on Britney Spears body and I look pretty damn sexy as Britney Spears.

I’m drinking coffee right now, so chances that I will fall asleep before 6am are pretty slim. Well, since today is the least vague memory that I have, lets recap today. So I woke and I was hot. Once again, my sheets were crumpled up in a ball and I was sticking to my mattress. I must toss and turn a lot in my sleep. I gathered some envelopes and decided to mail my dad’s father’s day card, a bunch of checks that I need deposited into my checking account, and some fun bills. I walked downstairs and decided to check our mail before heading off. I’m sure glad that I did because I discovered at nice check for $211 dollars all for ME! My landlord in Indiana finally sent my security deposit to me, which couldn’t have come at a better time … I was planning on selling my body to science to pay my rent. So, I added my check to the depository envelope, and I headed out into the great wide open. I went to Crossroads to get some $$ for bills, then I went to CVS because I was bored. I bought some gifts for my dying boyfriend, I hope that they cheer him up. I cannot disclose any more information regarding the gifts because I have not given them to him yet. Wow! I just choked on my coffee and spit some onto my monitor because I am laughing so hard. Courtney just sent me her masterpiece. I think I look much better on Britney even though it is apparent that Courtney spent much more time on herself … mine looks more fake.



Anyways …. lets continue. So I came back to the apartment and hung out. I tended to my flourishing tomato plant and I put a wooden fork in the pot to use as a stick because he is getting to be a big boy and needs support.

Then I became hungry and decided to cook some food for Courtney and me since she was going to be home from work, and I knew that if I was cooking food just for myself, she would make the sad food face. Later, I talked to Todd for a while on the phone and I feel really sad because he is very sick. That brings us up to the present, and I am sitting here. Woah …. I just found a time machine sitting in our living room!!

Entering time machine …. set date: July 28, 1990
set location: 1204 4th Ave
set Event: My 9th Birthday

I am wearing a pink and black polka-dotted skirt ensemble, and I am sad because it is my birthday party and nobody came.

ME: Mommy, why isn’t anyone at my birthday party?
Mommy: Because you are a big dork sweetie. Why don’t you call Julie and ask her if she would like to come to your party?
ME: OK “Ring Ring”
Julie’s mom: Hello
ME: Can Julie come to my birthday party?
Julie’s mom: Sorry Dorkica, Julie went to Sea-World with her dad because she is cooler than you.
ME: Oh Ok, bye bye
Julie’s mom: click
ME: Mommy, everyone hates me!
Mommy: That’s not true honey? Don’t you have any other friends?
ME: Everyone is mean to me. When I went to West Hills, this girl named Courtney was my pen-pal, but when I came to FC, she did not want to be my friend.
Mommy: Why wouldn’t she want to be your friend?
ME: Because she is one of the cool girls with perms. I don’t have a perm.
Mommy: Do you want to get a perm?
ME: Well it doesn’t matter because I will still be a dork. I have big pink ugly glasses.
Mommy: But they match your dress perfectly!
ME: I hate wearing glasses! (Bursts into tears)
Mommy: It’s ok honey, I will sing you your favorite song!
ME: Ok mommy!
Mommy: “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose …….”

(Curtain closes as I sit on mommy’s llap listening to my favorite song)

Wow! That was a fun trip! Yes, when I was in second grade, I went to West Hills Elementary School. Courtney was my pen-pal …. and I was jealous of her. I remember the letter that she sent me. She said that she had blonde hair and blue eyes, and that she was 8 years old. This made me very jealous because I wanted to have blonde hair and blue eyes, and I was only 7. At the age of 7, I was sure that being 8 was so much cooler. In third grade, I moved to FC and went to school with Courtney. I remember being on the playground with Hollie Radic when she introduced me to my pen-pal Courtney …. and the poodle haired snotty brat turned her pointy nose up at me and wanted to have nothing to do with me. Third grade was a tough year for me …. but I did meet Jaime …. she shared her crayons with me and we were friends ever since. Today she likes to introduce me to people by saying, “This is my friend —– … we have been friends since 3rd grade when I shared my crayons with her!” Courtney didn’t end up becoming my friend for a long time …. actually 9th grade, and I honestly don’t know how we became friends. But it was destined to be, even though she was a bitch to me in 3rd grade. I did get my revenge on her though …. she was a TARGET for being picked on by Julie and I back in the good old days of 1996.

Julie and I have been connected since birth. Our mom’s are cousins, and since we were born 2 days apart, we were the fun family babies. I am told that we played together as infants, but I do not consciously remember that. We were reunited in third grade when I moved to FC. Besides fun family events with missionary twins, we hung out in school too. Julie stopped being my friend in 5th or 6th grade though because she thought I was a dork. However, in 7th grade, we got ourselves in trouble a lot in Mr. Gould’s science class. We got in trouble for talking, then Julie tried to kill Katie Ortmann with a pencil, and we always stole Germiamy’s trapper keeper. Julie made comic strips about me being mauled by a dog and having a stumpy arm, and we shared memories such as the “Obsidian Cow”. We didn’t become really good friends until about 9th grade, when she invited me to come stay the weekend at her dad’s girlfriend’s house. We had a fun weekend eating chicken spaghetti, rummaging through Jenny’s son’s stuff, playing Bubble Bobble, and writing poems. I think that was the weekend I composed my famous line: “You are the fuzz on my peach, without you I am merely a nectarine”. After that weekend, Julie and I became rollerblading rock-stars and comic-strip queens. We have been friends ever since.

Time: Present

Ok, I’m back …. so do you want to hear about recent events? OK! So where was I? Oh yeah, I finished talking about today, then I went back to 1990. waahdafuck? Well I didn’t do anything productive yesterday during the day …. I met Todd at work around 6, we went to Office Max and I wanted to purchase the store, put it on wheels, find a nice chunk of land and live in it. I didn’t though. We also went to Wal-mart and then we ate at Quaker Steak and Lube … never ate there before, food is good, yummy yay! Then we went to his apartment and I made a Father’s day card for my dad and Todd organized his music. Then we sat outside and talked about bra sizes. I came home, insomnia is back …. I stayed up half the night organizing stuff and paying bills. I also did some stuff to get my button biz back in order. I finally fell asleep …. then I got up today. This is not very organized. If you missed what I did today, scroll back up to the very top.

Ok, lets go back to the beginning of time now. On Sunday, I went home for a few days. It was nice to be home and I did absolutely nothing, it was great. I had to see my bedroom and it made me cry. My puzzles are gone, my room is bare, and there is new paint on the walls. After being home for 2 minutes, the radar monkey’s found me and we went to Wal-Mart. I bought a new phone that is just completely awesome. Then I slept in my room with paint fumes. I woke up and did nothing all day. I ate good food and hung out with my brother even though he slept all day, so I kicked him to try to make him wake up. Radar monkey Jr. found me around 10:30PM, and I was really mad because Todd said he was going to come visit me, and I really didn’t need Steve there. He had been calling me all day and knew I was home because he had offered to pick me up on Sunday, so he could find out where he had to take his boards at in Pittsburgh. He ended up not picking me up, but knew that I was planning on coming home anyways. Is there something about me that just spells out “LOSER” on my face? Nobody ever calls me and ASKS me if I want to do something. They just assume that I am their back-up and that I am always just there. Maybe that is why I get so frustrated with guys and friends in general. I’m not a pushover, am I? I just try to be nice, but I always end up being the one that people rely on and expect things from. Anyways, Steve refused when I politely asked him to leave because he said that he wanted to meet Todd. I felt just horrible the whole night, but luckily Todd was very cool about it. Thank You.

I came back to Pittsburgh on Tuesday afternoon …. I can’t remember what I did when I got back. Oh yeah, Julie had fun-night at the apartment with her dad and sister, and Todd came over and we watched “Where the Heart Is”. It was really funny and cute and good. I liked the movie a lot and recommend it to anyone who is up for a GREAT movie. I actually might add it to my list of favorite movies.

I hope I haven’t left out anything pertinent, but I think that is enough for now.

Goodbye

Sat. June 8, 2002

Right now Courtney and I are ordering food because we are HUNGRY! Julie went to Kennywood today, and I am still feeling sick. I better get better really soon because I am going home tomorrow and my dad will attack me with lysol if I let out so much as a little cough. Life in the fast lane! So …. I think summer is officially here … its been very hot outside and I have gotten my yearly allergy-death season transition sickness. Nothing much new to say. Yesterday I got my Pitt ID and went to the thrift store with Julie. I bought a whole new wardrobe for $22. I also bought a Little Foot stuffed animal for Courtney because she likes dinosaurs and he was really cute. Julie cooked delicious stuffed tomatoes, and we played Clue Master Detective, and another Clue game. I got insanely sick and took some antihistamines which made me very tired … so I drank some coffee to counter-effect it. Needless to say, it probably wasn’t the smartest thing I have done in my life. We played Miss Sue and screamed loudly every time the phone rang. Julie and I told crazy stories …. hers was about a leg and mine was about poop. We sure had some tomato fun! Todd came over around 1 and I was feeling really crazy from the antihistamine/coffee incident. Not to mention that I was sick too. We had a very nice evening/morning together. When Todd left I was very tired but still could not make myself sleep. I ended up not falling asleep until about 10am. I worked on my webpage though, and now the pictures section is done.

Blah Blah and more blah.

I didn’t get much accomplished today. I slept for most of the day due to lack of sleep last night and because I still feel kind of sick. Todd brought me some kettle popcorn which I am happily munching on right now. Courtney and I played Clue online but it sucked. I really don’t have much else to say. I am going home tomorrow and I can’t wait to see my family, my destroyed bedroom, and my cats. I’ll be back someday so I probably won’t update for a few days.

Well I’m getting sick of the recaps I have been posting in my news … they all sound the same. It’s like keeping a log of what I do, and that is cool because I will read them someday and remember how cool my life was in Pittsburgh. Anyways, since I don’t really write anything interesting about myself, here is my chance to do it …. I am bored, have nothing at all to do, so I am going to bore you with my life if you care to read on.

I didn’t know what to expect from life by moving to Pittsburgh. I knew I would be happier because I was honestly depressed in a bad way living in Indiana. Loneliness took a toll on me, and my ambition to meet new people dropped to zero. It was really affecting all aspects of my life. I wasn’t eating healthy, I had negative motivation, and sleep was my number one concern … although I was an insomniac. I’m not crazy, and in general I am a happy person, but the transition from the fun I had last summer at Cedar Point — to going back to IUP, well it just didn’t mix too well. It didn’t help matters that the routine I had lived for the last two years was no longer there for me. Jaime had quit school and moved to Susquehanna with her boyfriend, and Ashley had moved to Pittsburgh. Kimmy transferred to another college, and my psycho ex-roommate was no longer around. Living in a tiny apartment all by myself just added to my lack of motivation to get out and do things. Once I had gotten into the slump, I felt that I couldn’t get out. I seriously started thinking about my life, and where I wanted to go with it. Graduating from IUP was not at the top of my list. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to graduate from college, but …. it just didn’t seem like it was going to get me anywhere. In December, I began to seriously consider leaving IUP. I didn’t know where I was going to go, or what I was going to do, but a change was definitely necessary. When Ashley mentioned that her and Kim were moving out of the apartment in the summer, and Julie and Courtney were going to need a roommate, I really jumped at the opportunity to move to Pittsburgh. It sounded like a workable plan. Pittsburgh, not too far from home, friends, a new school, new atmosphere … I decided to go for it. By that time, leaving my life in Indiana was no longer just a dream … it was going to happen. I had maintained a GPA of 3.7 at IUP, so I wasn’t too worried about getting accepted to college there. I applied to Pitt in January, and three weeks later I got my acceptance letter. In April, I signed the lease for this summer, and on May 3, I packed up my belongings and left Indiana forever. My parents were very supporting of my decision, and that just made things better. They supported my decision 100%, so I felt really good about the choice I was making. Everyone in my family was happy for me and talked about how much better off I would be in Pittsburgh. I am really glad that they were there for me to help me make the decision because I really wanted to do it, but I was also concerned that I might just be screwing my life up more.

Well, since I have moved to Pittsburgh, my life has taken quite a turn from the boring solitaire life in Indiana. First of all, I have roommates now, and they aren’t just roommates …. they are my friends. Julie, Courtney, and I have known each other forever so it wasn’t like we didn’t know what to expect. Sure, its different when you live with the people … but so far it has been superb. I have lived with Courtney before … last summer, but it wasn’t quite the same since we had 8 other people living with us too. Courtney works all day, and I am usually not here in the evening so we haven’t seen each other too too much. Julie isn’t here a lot, but I think it is a good thing that we aren’t always here at the same time … it makes roommate fun time much more fun. My social life is now a reality … not that I have friends calling my name from every corner of the universe, but that isn’t how I operate anyways. Since I have been in college, I have really haven’t made a lot of new friends. The closest friends I have made are Ashley and Theresa (no longer in existence). I have remained close to most of my friends from home. Well, Julie and Courtney obviously …. I bet we never imagined that we would all be living together and going to the same college someday. I am still very close to Brian and Eric, and even my ex-boyfriend of almost 4 years. My mom could never understand how I could be friends with an ex, and yes … it was hard, and some things are still a little awkward …. like talking about the people we are seeing now, but we talked recently and we have both seemed to be able to go beyond our past history and remain friends. We don’t hang out with each other much, but we talk a lot . I think that when you really know someone, understand them, respect them, and have history …. it just seems better to keep the friends you have as close to you as possible. I can’t imagine my life without them, but it will, inevitably happen someday.

I think the biggest surprise about moving here is that I met someone after only being here a few days … I wasn’t even unpacked and I had a date lined up. OK, that has never happened to me before. I have never even been on a real date. I haven’t had a real boyfriend since I broke up with Steve, and I was starting to feel hopeless. My mom was concerned about me because I wasn’t even attempting to meet guys, but I was starting to think that putting forth effort was just a waste of time. I have known girls who can pick up guys left and right, and I have known girls that can wrap any guy around their finger. From my experiences, I was the type of girl who guys used as experiment to see how far they could get, or the girl that would lead a guy to conclude that his sexual preference was indeed, not girls. Yeah, I have been known to turn a guy or two gay …. haha. I got sick of not being taken seriously, and after last summer I decided that I was not going to try to meet anyone, and if something was meant to happen, it would happen. I purposely tried to avoid interactions with anyone in Indiana, because I wanted to leave so much … and it would just be my luck that I would meet someone or find some reason that would make me regret leaving. I wanted to leave with no regrets or sadness … just good memories. Well, obviously I was not meant to meet anyone in Indiana, because I had no difficulty in warding off the guys. And perhaps my whole outlook and attitude at that point wasn’t exactly attracting the guys either.

In all honesty, I had a worried feeling that I was setting myself up for disappointment by moving to Pittsburgh. I had certain goals that I wanted to achieve once coming here. I wanted to have fun and I wanted a boyfriend. I had already exhausted the 4-year high school relationship, break up … get back together multiplied by 50 … get heart-broken … pine after him, know he is wrong for you, know you have both changed, can’t let go. Got over that one … turned a guy gay, moved onto the crazy Cedar Point summer “Guess what, guys are actually interested in you, take advantage!” Attention is great, a lot of guys are assholes, and if you continue meeting the wrong ones you are going to keep getting burned. Every guy I have ever had a relationship was a jerk. Even the one I held onto for almost 4 years. I kept asking myself if there were really guys that actually wanted to be in a relationship, fall in love, and truly appreciate someone else. Well my last stage was, she doesn’t want to meet any guys, she can be happy by herself. Well I wasn’t happy, but it wasn’t just because I didn’t have anyone. I kind of felt relieved that I was single because I was really confused, depressed, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life … I don’t think a boyfriend would have made things that much better. My attitude towards guys wasn’t exactly benevolent at the time, and was just sick of putting up with the bullshit. I needed to “find myself” I guess. Yeah, I’m not sure what that’s all about, but I know that this past year has definitely made me realize what I don’t want in life. After I got accepted to Pitt, I spent all of my time planning, forming expectations of what my life was going to be like once I moved. I knew I shouldn’t set so many expectations, but I couldn’t help it because I was so excited about it.

Yes, its no secret — I did have intentions of meeting a boy when I moved here. I was anxious to start my new life in Pittsburgh, and yes that did include meeting someone. I didn’t expect it to happen right away …. I actually didn’t know if it would ever happen, but I knew that once I moved here I was going to at least put forth the effort. I figured out a lot about myself while I was single, but I didn’t want to continue in the slump, be a 40 year old spinster with 125 cats. And I was sick of the games and bullshit. I decided that I was going to make an effort to meet guys, but it was going to be different this time. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for the phone to ring, I wasn’t going to be second-best, and I wasn’t going to be the bottom priority that gets attention only when subject is bored. But that seemed to be the whole problem … I didn’t know how or where I was going to meet a guy who wanted the same thing. I also didn’t want to go on endless dead-end dates and never find a guy who wanted to spend time with ME. It would also be a plus if I actually liked the guy, if he had some level of intelligence, if he wasn’t some ogre, and if he would be willing to put forth effort to be with me instead of playing the one way game where I do everything. I also didn’t want to settle for the first person that came along and decided to show some kind of interest in me. I tend to meet guys because they are funny or cute, I start to really like them, and then I realize they have flaws but just don’t care. I don’t care about flaws, but in the past I have been to willing to accept major flaws in guys … like not being treated equally, or playing second fiddle to the true object of his affection …. an actual object. So, maybe I was setting myself up for disappointment, but disappointment sure hasn’t caught up with me yet. I don’t know what to say for myself now. What happens when I am barely here for a week, and I meet the most incredible guy who out measures every single expectation I could ever dream of and more? Every single day he makes me like him more, by the things he says, and the things he does. I am in disbelief that I could meet someone so perfect for me … and get this, he likes me a lot. I have known him less than a month, but there is something about him … it’s more than physical or emotional … its different than the typical relationship that has only been in existence for a month … I don’t think that time matters when something is really meant to be … I cannot be 100% sure that he is the ONE, but he is everything I could ever dream of, and I definitely falling for him.

So, to conclude the very long and insane story of my life, I’m happy here. Things are definitely looking up. You have to take risks sometimes, and the risks I have taken have all been quite advantageous. I start school in the fall, and I am going to have a tough semester because I can take some of my classes I would be taking my senior year, but I think I can hack it. If I can make it through the first semester, things should be smooth sailing for the next 2 years. I have to take 17 classes at Pitt to graduate, but that will probably end up taking me 2 years. Transferring to Pitt has only set me back about 6 classes, but the credits all transferred, so yeah. Well its been great chatting …. I’m going home tomorrow for a few days, but I haven’t been home in a month, so I think it is time to spend some quality time with the family and catch up on the chat sessions with my mom.

Weds. June 5, 2002

Recap of my life, nothing interesting to say.

Schnitzle Schnitzle Shnitxxle. I’m pretty tired right now, but the longer I sit here, the more my barren land of bed will appeal to me. So ….. what is up? Tizzle Tizzle … I am watching Cheers right now, but I think I am starting to lose interest in the obsession. I have seen every episode at least 4 times … yeah, its time for a new hobby. So, today is Tuesday. What have I done for the past few days? Well, just let me tell you!

On Sunday, I went to Schenley Park with Courtney, Julie, and Ashley. We all played frisbee, minus Courtney — she was too busy getting naked on the lawn. We talked about names. My dad wanted to name me Melanie or Janice … my mom wanted to name me Alexandria. How about you? I don’t think I actually got any sun and I don’t even care. I want to be white and pasty for the rest of my life. After my unsuccessful attempt at sunbathing, we came back to our apartment. Ashley fell asleep on the couch. Courtney watched a dinosaur marathon on the Discovery channel, I decided to paint, and Julie went to sleep. I painted my first watercolor painting, and it took me like 6 hours to finish it. While painting, I had to endure Courtney’s dumb dinosaur marathon. She was freaking out when the dinosaurs ate each other and died. I thought it was cool. I wonder if she realized that the dinosaurs were not real. They didn’t even look real. I watched two fake 12 ton dinosaurs get it on, that was pretty interesting. I finished my painting and then I probably went to bed.

Monday was more eventful. Courtney and I made plans to go shopping downtown, but we had to wait for the cable guy to come and install a line in her bedroom. He was late of course, and when he got here he tried to get it on with us. Not really, but he was a freak and made perverted comments and offered to let me borrow his steel toed boots so I could kick ass because quote “you go girl, you kick ass.” Yeah ok. He also made it a point to touch Courtney and I, and gently put his hand on me and said “Can I come in your room?” Yuck. After the molestation ended, Courtney and I headed downtown and we went to Old Navy and Kaufmanns. I bought something, yeah. Ok, so after the shopping trip, Todd picked us up and we went to his apartment to eat tacos. They were very yummy. Courtney sat there and watched the Discovery Channel AGAIN, and Todd showed me some cool things in Photoshop. Then we came back to my apartment and I spent a relaxing evening with Todd, my wonderful boyfriend.

………. continued

Tuesday I woke up and met Todd at work. We went to Johnstown to go to his sister’s high school graduation. I got to meet his family, flee from a psycho stalker, and ride for long periods of time in a car. All in all I had a good time. His family is very nice, but the whole meeting the parents thing is kind of stressful, plus it was kind of hectic today, so it was kind of weird.

TODAY, I was seriously a slug all day. I felt sick until about 4PM and wanted to puke all over everything. Courtney came home from work and looked dead. She cooked ravioli’s and I made salad. Then we ate the makings. Then I walked into Courtney’s room 17 times because I don’t have a mirror in my room. Todd picked me up around 8, we ran outside and got wet, then we went to Walmart. I bought a mirror and a new phone battery. In 14 hours my phone should work. Todd bought a fan and an air conditioner. We went to his apartment and I assembled a fan while Todd tried to put the air-monster in the window … it didn’t really work out. I laughed a lot today and I am also an alien. That’s about all. I have no future plans, nor do I have a future. See ya in St. Louis.

PS: Why is there a knife in our bathroom?

Saturday June 1, 2002 3:12PM

It’s June!!! And the month of June is going to be extraordinary!!! I will probably be updating a lot more now since my life is like cool. I guess life has been treating me well lately. Our oven is FINALLY fixed, so I am going to cook something tasty in it today!! I am thinking some cabbage and noodles, although an oven is not really required for that. Anywizz — Today is Saturday, yayaayaa!! I have no plans for later, but that is just fine. On Thursday I went to the mall with Ashley after our attempt to sit outside and drink beer failed us because we did not have enough motivation to actually drink. So shopping seemed like it would stimulate our thirst. I bought a new shirt and three colorful bras. After our spending spree, we returned to Ashley’s, sat outside and drank some beer. We talked to some cool boys that were listening to Weezer and they invited us to swim in their blow-up pool. However, we declined because it wasn’t really swimming weather. Around midnight I decided that it was time for me to go home because I didn’t want to get really drunk and have to stay there. So I walked home to find that Courtney hated me and had stolen my fan. I don’t know why she was being so mean to me. I guess I borrowed the shirt she wanted to wear and she was kind of pissed at me. I talked to Julie at work for a while and then I went to sleeeeep.

Yesterday I prepared a cheesy bagel for Courtney to eat when she got home from work because I didn’t want her to hate me anymore. Courtney, Julie, and I sat on the balcony and watched the storm come. Then the power went off like 12 times, and my window fan spewed water all over my bed. Someone died at Kennywood and then some dude said there were 50 casualties …. that was a shocker! He obviously needed a lesson in vocabulary because I think he meant 50 injuries. There are a lot of trees laying on the ground outside. Julie cooked lasagna rolls and Courtney decided that she was going to cut off 12 inches of my hair. I didn’t really have the “mushroom do” in mind, but I guess it works. I was very unhappy because I knew Courtney was cutting all my hair off but there really wasn’t anything I could do about it. She kept laughing a lot and saying it was cute … but Courtney tends to laugh at really bad situations … for example, the time we were in the wreck and Steve demolished her van with his truck. She thought it was funny, however, I did not find it that humorous and it wasn’t even my vehicle that had been destroyed. Courtney tends to have a strange sense of humor and taste.

Here I am …. only days before (May 28th) happily posing with my hair:

And today (June 1st) after Courtney, the wicked witch laughed cruelly while chopping off all of my hair. Yes, I’m crying in this picture.

After the hair incident, I called Todd and he came over. We went to Mt. Washington to look at the city. Actually we had no intentions of going there, but Todd took the wrong exit going towards downtown and we ended up there. It ended up being a really fortunate accident, because the city looked so beautiful. I did not know that this place existed … I want to go back some time and take a camera so I can take nice pictures of Pittsburgh. Afterwards, we went to his apartment and hung out. I ended up staying because it got late and I didn’t really want to come home anyways.

Well, that’s about all. I am going to take a shower now and cook some good food for some good eats. Later Later Alligator!