Coffeebration

Or the CD Player or anything I can find. I’ve learned that blasting a really cool song helps when I feel like I want to pull out every single strand of hair and break important things just so I can go “ha I just fucked up something really important!” Except the satisfaction would only last about a second, then I’d just be more pissed that I don’t have a functioning phone, remote, kitchen set ….. anymore, you get the picture. Surprise, I do think before I act …. my problem is thinking before I speak. Anyways, I have bought half of the ingredients for my feast that I plan to cook today, but since my neighborhood lacks a full blown grocery store, I’ll have to go to Shadyside. I did manage to find a lot of the stuff at the Italian grocery store though. I’m attempting to make stuffed pepper soup and knishes. Knishes are good – actually some kind of Jewish food, they’re like dough with potato inside. Heh, nothing like eating a bunch of starch. However, stuffed pepper soup is opposite …. lots of protien. The love for both foods come from two different jobs I’ve had / have. I’ve actually witnessed and helped make stuffed pepper soup before but for some reason things tend to not turn out the same when I try it solo. I’ve been craving some and with this 60 degree weather setting in I’ll be shivering and sad, so hopefully my soup will turn out good! I’d still rather go to Eat’n Park or Kings for a gravy-liscous turkey dinner but its not gonna happen so I’m not gonna sulk about it. That’s it for now. I gotta go to Giant Eagle and finish purchasing the things on my list. I might have to get me a turkey TV dinner cause its either that or a cigarette … and I know it can’t be the second. I’m doing good though.

One week smoke free! Woohoo …. who is coming out with me tonight to celebrate? Anyone? No? Ok fine losers. You’re missing out on one great naked party with lots of sugarfree gum and centipedes! Ha, I’m going out to get some food. Have a good day!

Good morning! err evening for you folks who don’t sleep the entire evening and wake up at 11pm to discover you’ve just slept enough hours to stay up for a good while. Anyways, I woke up about half hour ago to the sound of my phone ringing. The caller had to hear my wrath because I was woken out of like the best dream ever ….. not. Anyways, my dream was that everyone I ever knew had come over to my house to tell me they were starring in movies. It was like one friend after another ….. and my mom was there going “you didn’t know? Oh yeah, all your friends are going to be famous!” And my job was selling Easter candies out of a catalog. I was sitting alone on a Friday night and my mom who had felt sorry for me had asked all of my famous friends to come over and buy some chocolates off of me. Oh yeah, that’ll make me feel better mom. So now I’m pissed at a lot of people, including my mom …… and now that I’m awake, but still traumatized, I just made someone promise never to become famous and leave me for Hollywood. Apparently my ex-boyfriend from high school was about to star in the new Perry Mason movie. Don’t quote me …. but I’m pretty sure its the name of a song by Ozzy Osbourne that I haven’t listened to in years. Oh yeah, and for some reason, bags of salad were recalled because they had Ecoli …. so be careful eating that lettuce! Don’t you wish you had dreams like me?

I have nothing lined up for the next two days. I’m off of work but sadly nothing really awesome to fill up the time. I’ll probably just bum around here, do some grocery shopping maybe ….. decorate for Halloween! I’m pretty excited about Halloween too. See Halloween is my dad’s favorite holiday and Christmas is my mom’s favorite. So this time of year was always pretty exciting growing up. I’m going to carry on the excitement of both parents to future generations. But since there are no future generations on the horizon yet I guess I’ll have to keep in going solo for a while yet. I want to go to Halloween things soooo bad. Definitely Fright Nights at Kennywood … thats like a tradition. And I’d like to go to Fright Fest too. I’ve never done that before and I think it is supposed to be like the biggest scary thing going on in Pittsburgh so I really want to check it out sometime. I checked out Pgh Events to see if anything else cool Halloweeny was going on and there was a few things posted on there but nothing that struck me as insanely cool. But definitely Fright Nights …. it starts now and is every Friday and Saturday night from 7pm -1am through Halloween. So invite yourself to come with me … you must like rollercoasters though if you think you are going to be my riding buddy!

I’m on day six of not smoking. I haven’t caved in or bought any cigarettes. I’m very proud of myself so you should be too! At this point it would take an earthquake and something really shitty for me to start smoking again because now that I’ve built up this day counter I’d be extremely mad if I had to reset it. Now that I’m counting it feels like time is standing still. Usually a week flys by before I know it, but getting to this 7 day (one week) mark is taking forever! Oh yeah and the nice Indian man who sells me cigarettes with free lighters is totally supporting me in my quitting process. This morning he told me how he quit smoking and said how proud he was of me. And no I don’t think its creepy that the Indian man is proud of me. We’re friends and I like him and if you have a problem with it, poop on you. He’s like 50 and married, and I know his wife too. They are just really sweet and now that I’ve got him giving me some support it would be even harder for me to cave in and buy a pack of cigarettes since that is the place I always buy them. I’ve decided I can’t quit being a customer there though cause I love that place. So I’ll just go in everyday and get cappuccinio, sugarless gum, and some of those tasty homemade samosas. Damn, I’m going to get fat. Maybe I should spend my two days of vacation pedaling on the exercise bike!

It is 5:44pm and I haven’t done much with myself today. I woke up around 12 after having weird dreams about being pregnant and having a lopsided baby. When I start having those kinds of dreams its usually I sign I should not be sleeping anymore. So I got up and sat around. I vacuumed. I made coffee. I sat around some more. I talked to my mom for 216 minutes – not sure how many hours that is, but its a freakin’ long time. Good thing I have unlimited minutes on the weekends or that would be a half a months worth of minutes. My mom is cool. I’m so desperate for a nice home cooked meal – or a turkey dinner. I was going to eat a salad today from the pizza place down the street but suddenly I don’t want one anymore. I am tired of buying food everyday. I’m also tired of buying groceries that rot before I use them. I wish that eating was optional. Or I wish there was a button I could press that would drop steaming hot plates of goodness into my lap. I don’t despise cooking, I just don’t like cooking for myself. Its a waste of time when half of the food never gets eaten. Maybe I should adopt a poor starving child to eat dinner with me. I know this is a stupid problem to have, but after living alone for over a year I still haven’t been able to find a solution to the buying food problem. I wish someone would move in with me. I have an empty bedroom and a big closet. But then there are times I’m glad I live alone. Why can’t I have roommates ON DEMAND? Like movies ON DEMAND. Just press a button and a movie appears on your screen for $3.99 – instead of movies, people. Yep. I’m lonely sometimes, sorry.

It is 10 something pm. I want to go to bed so I can put myself out of my misery but since I didn’t get up until 12pm today I’ve barely been up for 10 hours. I’m beginning to despise evening because I just want to smoke. Especially when I have nothing to distract me. Talking helps. Chewing gum helps but I don’t have any more gum and I’m not going outside right now to get any because I’d get mauled by drunk idiots. Anyways, the feeling will pass. Today was better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before. Before I know it I’ll hit the one week mark ….. then two weeks, three weeks and so on until I eventually quit counting and can officially mark myself down as a non-smoker. (Insert deep sigh).

My apartment smells like a flower / soap / candle manufacturing company. I still don’t smell smoke anywhere but I’m making sure I have lots of scented things to occupy my nostrils just in case there is some hiding out somewhere. Actually my Glade Plugin is just way too strong right now and last night when I came home I thought I was going to suffocate on it. Those little glade things sure do a whopping job on small apartments.

I only work 13 days in the month of October. The rest of the month is paid vacation. October is a great month for making money while sitting on my ass at home. I enjoy October. I am coming to appreciate non-Christian holidays. I wonder if there is some kind of world religious center that observes every holiday for every religion. If so I think I’m going to apply for a job there. Next week I have Tuesday and Wednesday off. I wish I would have taken Monday off, then I wouldn’t have to go back to work until Thursday. That’s ok though. I really need something to occupy myself with so I don’t sit around and drive myself crazy by analyzing things and wanting to smoke. So if there is anyone out there who is going to be in the Oakland area and doesn’t have a job they have to be at on Tuesday or Wednesday I’m totally free to hang out.

My computer died earlier today. It contracted some virus that caused me to no longer have a task manager or a registry. It was kind of bad but luckily Todd was on his way over anyways so he came to the rescue. He can fix stuff like that in a fraction of the time it takes me to do it. I can usually fix my own computer issues. I started with Ad-Aware but when it got to the end and started removing files, the virus got pissed and made about 1,000 black dos boxes repeatedly appear all over my screen till I had no choice but to hold in the button and turn off the computer. After that I really wasn’t sure I wanted to turn it back on. Anyways, its fixed now and I’m listening to some good music while watching FOX News in mute mode. Good stuff.

Last night I went out w/ Brian but I didn’t get my Pina Colada 🙁 …. they didn’t have any, but thats ok. I enjoyed watching some messed up girl almost pass out at the bar. Oh and the guy who came over and asked me if his friend looked like someone. I think I said Ricky Martin and he didn’t really like that answer because I was supposed to say Ben Affleck. He didn’t look like Ben Affleck but whatever. People are dumb.

The weather forecast says 80’s for the beginning of the week. That is nice considering that it is October and that usually means that nice weather is officially over. I want to go to Kennywood Fright Nights around Halloween but only if it isn’t snowing by the end of October. So I’m not making official plans to go yet.

I had a civil meeting with Todd today. It was good. He grew a beard which sounds scary but actually looks cute in a scruffy kind of Todd way. I liked it. After that I went to Wendy’s and bought a caesar side salad and a chicken sandwich. I came home, ate it, talked on the phone, and sat here. Phew! Sure you can handle all the excitement??

Anyways, I think I’m back on the upswing of life. I’m no longer having a nervous breakdown daily so I’m just back to being extra boring. Sorry there is never any drama around here. I’m just not cool enough for that.