Coffeebration

Monday is my favorite day, not. Today I stayed late at work because I had something interesting to do for once. Instead of running around like a moron I got to Google things. And that is my favorite thing to do. I heart Google and I want to become a spy. Verifying or disproving information is so fun. That is why I think I’d love to be a background checker or like a private investigator.

I bought a black wig yesterday because I just like to buy things for no reason. No wonder I have no money. Actually, I just bought it because it was only $3.99 and even though I have no idea what I’ll be for Halloween I’m sure I still won’t know 2 hours before I’m supposed to go somewhere and be dressed up and I’ll run to the store to find that the only thing left is a big pink bunny outfit and some weird googly eyes. So I’m just preparing this time. I’m sure there is something I can do with this lovely wig. I am almost positive I am going to be a black cat though. And in that case I think I want a blonde wig so I can contrast all the black I’ll be wearing. I was thinking of getting some cute black capri like pants and wearing some cool zig zaggy tights with my kitty slippers. Not sure what to do about the top of my outfit, or the face part. I’m not very good at making myself up in cat makeup. I’ll figure something out though. Ha, perhaps I should consult with Ashley Simpson on that cause that is like the exact look I’m aiming for …. I may have to add in some whiskers and a pink nose, we’ll see.

Its never going to be warm again and I know it. The rain has come to officially sweep away the last remnants of summer time and I’m really getting sad about it. I hate winter, and that should be obvious from my constant whining about wanting to live on the beach. I hate winter unless its Christmas. December I can deal with, but the October, November, January, February, March, and even April can just bite me. If you think I’m miserable now and have gotten sick of me talking about living in a cave all summer, just wait until its dark by 5pm and negative degrees outside. I’ll most likely just stop writing all together because I tend to do that every winter. I’ll update maybe three times a month, and that’ll be all I can force myself to do. Just kidding, I’m going to become a ballerina this winter and you know that ballerinas are always happy. Oh and maybe I didn’t mention it, but I have a new invention coming out – its a saran wrap / grocery bag insulation outfit that I plan to wear every single day this winter. I am accepting volunteers who would like to try it out. I’ll give you a hefty discount on these very rare, brand spanking new, sure to be VERY expensive once they hit the market, HOTT as in 2 SssExxY 4U, plastic suits. So as you can see my life is very busy and important right now.

I want this week to go away work-wise. I have Thursday off. Then I have to go to work on Friday, but after Friday I’m off till next Thursday so I’m headed of to FC for some family fun, mostly just so I can make my mom tell me that everything is ok. She’s good at boosting my ego and will yell at me for being stupid. And I must look up to her wisdom of life experiences which entail sitting on the couch, reading books, reading books, oh and reading books. She’ll just tell me to stop being sad and get a life. She’ll tell me what I need to hear and that works for me. And usually I’m never stupid or wrong and everyone else is, because I’m her precious daughter and I can do no wrong. So although she yells at me for crying, she thinks every choice I make is right, so its not like she puts me down, she just makes me feel silly for feeling like crap and assures me that everything I’m doing is perfect and will work out fine. Mom’s are good at that. And my dad will find something interesting for me to do, or rant about something, and my mom will be drunk and merry. My brother will show up at some point and really piss off my dad … then he’ll bitch about it to my mom and she’ll go “Oh Robert, stop being ridiculous!” Then my dad will look at me and say that she is unsupportive and flaky and expect me to agree with him. And then I’ll laugh and run off and play with the kitties. Then I’ll visit my grandma who will cook me a feast but refuse to allow me to squirt ketchup on the plate because that looks bad, even though I’m the only one there. Then I’ll tell her that I’ll squirt a pretty design on the plate and make it look all better. Then maybe my grandfather will talk to me about condoms, and my uncle will go “hey” and give me a big hug …. he may or may not have something insane to tell me, but he usually saves the drunken lesbian sex stories for Christmas when he’s completely wasted. I’d say he’d pull a crumpled wad of cash out of his jeans and give it to me, but he only gives me money on my birthday now since I’m a big girl. Anyways, everyone is crazy and down to earth, and just kooky ….. I love being home. I feel like all the sticks that I’ve had to shove up my ass in the past months just so I don’t get fired for being unprofessional will just disentigrate and I can finally sit back, relax and tell everyone that they smell like a gerbil. Aahh, I’ll never miss being with my family. They’re awesome.

Oh yeah, and I just went back in time to 1832 .. it was great. I found my diary too. I’ll be posting an entry from it soon but I will have to type it all because the internet did not exist back then. Wow, my life was sure different. Too bad I had to come back.

Bye.

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