I received my W2’s today and calculated my taxes. I’m getting a whopping $219 back, just about enough to buy a new digital camera, woo! I’m so tempted to just put it on my credit card and promise to use my return to pay on the credit card, but I have no self discipline and I have a feeling that by the time I get my return there will be some other thing I just have to have. I will try my hardest to wait unless I find a deal on it that I just can’t pass up. I need to convince myself that I really truly need and deserve a new camera though. I seem to have no problem spending money on other people, but when it comes to myself I feel guilty about buying things when I don’t absolutely need them. Small purchases under $50 seem to not bother me, but I feel like I need to make some kind of sacrifice to justify anything in the hundreds of dollars range. But it isn’t like I have tons of friends in need of things, so I can put that reserve aside in attempts to recover from my Christmas shopping spree.
Speaking of holidays and stuff, I was at CVS the other day and they already have the whole entire Christmas aisle replaced with Valentine’s day stuff. It kind of made me wish I was a boy so I could buy some girl all the stuff in the store. Don’t tell anyone, but I secretly contemplated buying some of the stuff there for myself because it was so cute. I mean CVS is the place to shop people. Valentines Day coffee mugs, stuffed giraffes and a million other cute animals, glass rose bouquets, and I could go on and on, it is great. I could furnish my apartment with that stuff. They just need to get some valentine socks there and I’d just have to give in. The whole holiday themed crap might annoy some people, but I get crazy about it. I know I see it every year, but it is only once a year and if people like me didn’t exist neither would the stuff, because nobody would buy it. I would buy it all if that guilt thing didn’t exist inside my head. I’m always trying to tell myself that I don’t need trivial things, but sometimes I just want them so badly. Like socks, I love socks … especially ones with cats or christmas trees … and hearts or stripes, or fuzz, or sparkles. Any sock that isn’t plain white seems to hop into my shopping cart somehow. Maybe my problem is that I like everything. Now I just need to meet more people who want to buy me stuff and I won’t have to worry about that guilt thing anymore. And by all means, if you feel that buying me things will satisfy you in some way, I’m all about doing my job to make you feel better about yourself. I wouldn’t be a very good person if I stopped you from doing that.
Besides wanting to buy all the cute things in the world, my apartment is a huge dirty mess and I will probably spend tonight cleaning, what a fun Friday night … yeah I know you are jealous. My bathroom stopped leaking and I don’t know why. It doesn’t appear that anyone did anything handyman-like in my bathroom while I wasn’t here, but knock on wood that it isn’t going to start leaking again. It was certainly leaking A LOT when I left this morning, but now its all better. Maybe this is a lucky Friday the 13th. I’m not going to chance turning on the light since the leak was coming directly out of my light socket. That would probably be a bad idea right now. If it doesn’t leak anymore, I might try it in a week or so. Certainly not on Friday the 13th though! Now I just have to go clean the bathroom from top to bottom since there is brown stuff dried all over the wall, puke puke puke.
I often read other blogs and a lot of them make me feel that my blog isn’t very good. This isn’t a huge concern or anything, but I observe that most of the ones I read are so organized and themed. Each entry will have some type of purpose and it will make sense. I tend to talk about 3 or 4 different things everytime I update. And when I’m having one of those days and I write a novel, I’m all over the place. I don’t have a spell-check function built into WordPress so I know there are typos here and there, even though I usually proofread, well … sometimes I do. I used to be good at writing, but my skill in that has really declined over the past five years. I don’t know what happened to the spelling-bee champ and fire prevention and endangered species essay winner from back in the day. I think that stress from being a penniless college student who was always stressed about finances and making it in life lost a lot of brain cells by thinking too much. And I’m getting tired of Wheatus, what is the world coming to?
But … when I look at your face I see dirt. All the sunshine you blow up my ass starts to hurt, and I don’t really mind if I’m nothing in your eyes, it’s no surprise to me.
Ok, I still like Wheatus. But it reminds me that I relate to the songs, and I wish I didn’t.