Coffeebration

So I had a rather amusing night in the world of chatting online. I get bored, ok … and I typically don’t even talk to anyone I don’t know online, but I guess I’ve been giving it a shot lately. I mean the only other way is to actually go outside and be social … yeah right.

So anyways, a few weeks ago I made this profile at a site called okCupid. I have found it to be rather lame, but I login once in a while to see if anyone has sent me a message, even though the messages I typically get are horrible. The okCupid site has this built in instant messaging and if you appear online someone can message you. There is some dude that must live on the site 24/7 because anytime I login he sends me a message. I ignored him the first few times and then I finally decided to respond. He didn’t have much to say other than ‘hey I’m about to leave, wanna meet up with a nice Jew boy like me?’ I was like ‘uh sorry, I’ll pass’. Nothing against his religion or anything, but I didn’t know anything about him, and I don’t typically ‘meet up’ with people.

Since the last (and first) time we spoke, I removed my pictures from the site because the people on there scare me and perhaps I feel I have fulfilled my need in meeting people, but today I logged in, and he messaged me again … obviously forgetting that he had once messaged me before. And for those of you who don’t know, my online name usually has the word “Nellie” in it somewhere … it is my fun online name.

So the conversation went a little something like this:

him: hey how are them air force one’s treating you
me: what?
him: well you are nellie
me: aren’t you clever
him: yes and blunt, is your dress size larger than a 7?
him: i’m tired of meeting thick beasts
me: well you aren’t going to meet anyone with that attitude
me: and i’m not a thick beast but i’m not a jew either, sorry i don’t fit your criteria
him: you don’t have to be a jew, you just can’t talk like a yinzer or have arms that are thicker than mine
me: and jews don’t talk like yinzers?
him: i don’t know, i haven’t taken a census
me: What, you too good for us pittsburgh folks?
him: no, i just know what i want
him: c’mon, damn girl
him: i’ve had some good dome from some trashy pittsburgh girls, so its all good
me: that is nice
me: maybe you might just believe you are talking to a normal person instead of assuming i’m a fat trashy yinzer
him: ok so what do you do?
me: i actually work for a jewish organization, how about that
me: I bet your people wouldn’t employ fat trashy gals, so i guess i’m not one
him: you son of a bitch
him: you must be a hot lil’ babe and shame on you for not putting up a pic!
me: well i had one up the first time you talked to me
me: guess your memory isn’t that good
me: must of liked what you saw … too bad

Then … not even two minutes after I logged out, someone IM’d me from MySpace and was asking me about my screen name, and said:

MySpace Guy: Maybe you wear Air Force Ones
MySpace Guy: Have a grill
MySpace Guy: wear a band-aid on your face

How freaky is that … I was getting paranoid that it was the same person! And doesn’t he spell his name with a ‘Y’
Maybe I should change my alias to say … something sweet like ‘anorexic buttercup’. Would that get the right message across? Ughh. People suck.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 30th, 2006 at 11:59 pm and is filed under 1. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.