I’ve been a lot happier lately. I’m not even talking about the great news about getting a job, I was happy before that too. I thought about what had changed in my life, and all I could think of was the fact that I moved to a new apartment. My new apartment does make me happier, but I thought it had to be more than that.
I couldn’t even remember what I was always so pissed off about. Here is an excerpt from an entry that I posted on April 28th:
I think there is only like 6 things I have to complain about: roommates, living situation, laundromat, how much riding the bus sucks, how much it sucks to live in the ghetto, and how much I hate hair.
So apparently that is why my life sucked so much. Let’s see what has changed.
1. Roomates: Ha. I don’t have any. Apparently roommates suck. I like living alone.
2. living situation: Again, living situation has changed. I like living alone. Close to civilization, and by that I do mean civilization. Before I lived in a neighborhood of cavemen, or something close to cavemen.
3. laundromat: Ok, the laundromat problem REALLY sucked. I worked at Vento’s every day and my turnover in clothing usage was huge. It seemed that no matter how much laundry I did … there was always MORE! The worst thing about it was that there was nowhere close-by to do my laundry. Sometimes Todd and I would go to the laundromat together, but not that often. I don’t have a car to take my clothes to a laundromat, so either I lugged my laundry onto a bus … or I just had to wear dirty clothes forever. There was a laundromat up the street about 1/2 mile, but walking there with laundry was like impossible. So … I would have to take my laundry on the bus, and it REALLY sucked. Not to mention that it was the most ghetto laundromat in the world. I mean there were a good number of “normal” people there, but there was always that mother with 20 garbage bags of laundry and 8 kids, and you know that they ALWAYS bring ALL of their kids to the laundromat. It’s like the cool place to hang I guess. Now there is a laundromat right down the street from me, and Todd has a house now, so he very graciously lets me do my laundry there frequently. THANK YOU!
4. how much riding the bus sucks: Um … I don’t have to ride the bus nearly as much now. Well now I have to take a bus to work (hey! not anymore!), but I don’t need to ride the bus to get somewhere to buy like … tampons. I can get everything I need at stores in around here. Except groceries. My location really needs a grocery store.
5. how much it sucks to live in the ghetto: Well I can’t say I live in Beverly Hills or anything, but I feel much safer and comfortable in my new location.
6. how much I hate hair: The hair situation has cleared up. Especially since I actually brush my hair in the bathroom now. Before I did everything in my bedroom and everything was covered in hair. Now I can go to sleep at night, resting peacefully, not worried that I will wake up with hair stuck in my throat. (That never really happened, I was just joking).
So I guess that most of it was related to my shitty living situation. Not that it was ever horrible. I just felt like I had no privacy, EVER. Most of the time nobody was really there, but I never knew when someone was going to come home, or if the bathroom was going to be free, or if someone was going to walk in while I was trying to cook dinner. I hated sharing a kitchen with weird people. I always felt weird about cooking stuff.
I don’t know, I was just always mad about something. I think I was mad at myself because I just hated everybody and everything all the time. I fought with Todd constantly, for no good reason. I would get mad because he was doing something and I was stuck in a hole. I could never go anywhere at night because I would risk being abudcted by cavemen. The closest place to buy anything was at Sunoco, which has bullet-proof encasings around the cash-register area. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own bedroom because I feared that somebody gay would look at me or try to talk to me if I left my room. I just wanted to be somewhere else. I’m glad I’m not there anymore. I think I might have killed myself. So I guess I really was miserable and I wanted someone to save me from it.