Coffeebration

Yesterday I came home from work, opened my screen door to access my big door ….. and a poor little sparrow had been trapped between the doors. No idea how it happened, but it flew right at me … centimeters from hitting smack dab into my face. It scared the hell out of me and I nearly lost my balance and fell on my bum! Anyways, it really freaked me out and my heart was beating pretty fast for a few minutes. Funny how much a little innocent bird can really shake you up!

Anyways, happy to say my email and computer is working fine again. And I finally set up [email protected] for those who don’t have my email address. I’m using MS Outlook now and I can have like 1,000 email addresses come to my inbox if I want. So send to me anywhere you like … and I’ll get it! Now the only challenge is … can I set up my work email through Outlook? Not that I’d want to because I hate work and the fact that I could easily read my work email without connecting to a remote thingie would probably deter me from EVER opening MS Outlook. If I can’t see it, its not there! Woohoo!

I have a headache and want to cook some chicken cabbage soup. Would someone like to go to the grocery store and shop for me? Please.

Bye.

Here is my rant and rave for the next few days. My computer had a heart attack on Saturday. There was a storm and the power went out …. and afterwards the computer would not start windows. Thanks to the nifty diagnostics CD that came with my computer I was able to determine that several sectors of my hard-drive were damaged or corrupt. I don’t know if I will be able to retrieve any of it after obtaining a new hard-drive because I don’t know if the hard-drive is damaged to the point that it will not be recognized at all which is the case now as the only/primary hard-drive on the computer.

Please call me and serenade me …. I’m lost without my computer at home. If I did not have a warranty on my infant three month computer, I would have already gone to the store, bought a new hard-drive, and reinstalled windows …. but Dell is going to send a Cuban refugee to my house to intall a new free one. If he is as smart as all of Dell’s customer support representatives, he’ll probably throw my hard-drive in my toilet and say “Computer fixed lady bye bye now”. I sure hope so. My computer was supposed to get fixed yesterday since I had a scheduled appointment, but nobody bothered to call me and tell me that the hard-drive hadn’t been shipped to their company yet. I was quite excited that they expected me to sit in my house all day anticipating nothing. Actually I think it was really rude. I had to call them and nobody knew what was going on. I’m just lucky I had yesterday off of work. I mean if I had actually taken time off of work for this and had nobody call or show up …. I would have been 10x more mad and I was pretty mad already so …. I might have cut something or someone closeby.

My advice: Don’t buy Dell Warranties. Unless you like having no computer for long amounts of time …. and non-English speaking customer service representatives. And a company that REFUSES to directly contact their technicians that they outsource. All around BAD BAD service.

I’m glad my warranty was free. When they call to ask me to extend it, I’m going to let them know why I wouldn’t even consider buying a pen from them! Ughh. They’d probably ship it from Madagascar and without any ink in it. And in order to get a replacement pen I’d have to learn Japanese. And after all of that they would claim my replacement pen was lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

Anyways I have a sunburn really bad and it sucks. I was unable to eat or move for two days and it sucked too. So I haven’t been in such a good mood anyways. Today is back to work – fun fun. See ya later.

Wow, I just had a craving for an ice cold beer. I usually don’t feel like this until the HOT months of August. Well, its HOT outside! I think its ruining my walking plan. Now I walk like 12 inches and give up. I need a large private swimming pool. I guess I could go to one of the public pools but I fear it would be filled with children and children annoy me. How about an adult only pool? Anyone ever think that us grown-ups like to swim amongst our peers!

This week is going truckin’ along and this weekend better be nice. I have a long ass weekend coming up since I have Monday and Tuesday off. Paid vacation for a non-Christian Holiday. I want to get some sun this weekend … not a lot though because I don’t want to look like scary barbie. Today at work the tanning-bed ho was wearing bright pink pants and some weird shirt. Her face looked like a nectarine. She walked past me once in a haste today and I literally almost jumped out of my skin. SCARY!!

I’m getting tired of email. I wish it was never invented because I would not know what I was missing if I never had it, and its just causing me a huge headache. My email at work has been malfunctioning for the last week +. It doesn’t really like to send or receive anything unless its going to/coming from inside the building. This tends to happen constantly and our email people don’t know how to fix it. So now I have a yahoo email account and yahoo messenger so I get popups when I get emails. If I don’t do that there is no way I will remember to check it. My home email was working for a while but now its corrupt again. I think I’m going to try to use Microsoft Outlook for my email now since I’m sure its much better than Outlook Express. At work we use a gay email program called Groupwise and it sucks. I can’t check like four different email accounts per day. I think I’m just going to ban email.

I had this idea and I thought I’d get it out there before someone invents it. This idea was originated because I hate my debit card. It wears out too quickly and I have to pay for a new one. Cashiers often have to put a plastic grocery bag over my card in order for it to swipe. Anyways, onto my brilliant idea: lets get rid of cards altogether. My new invention is called “fingerprinting”. When you go to the store, you just stick your finger on a pad and they say “debit or credit?” You can have all of your account numbers linked to your fingerprint! And say you have a visa debit card, a mastercard, and an American Express. Well, you have ten fingers! As long as you don’t have more than ten accounts, it shouldn’t be a problem. Same for ATM machines. And online purchases …. well I haven’t completely figured that one out. Maybe they could invent a fingerprint pad that sends information from your finger into the computer. The only con I can think of is that psychos would kidnap people and cut their fingers off. Instead of purse snatchers, body snatchers would evolve. That would kind of suck. I don’t want to fear for my fingers when I walk the streets. But other than that, I think its a great idea!

I really have nothing else intelligent or meaningful to talk about so I’m signing off. Maybe I’ll brave the heat for a walk in the park.

I fixed my mysterious email problem today after not receiving any emails since May 23. For anyone who cares, I set up a new identity on Outlook Express and it began importing the last thirty days of emails off of my server. However, it stopped at the exact same email again … not letting me get any emails past May 23. So I thought maybe it was a corrupt email or something. I logged onto my server and deleted the junk emails from the 24th and 25th … and that did it. I opened Outlook Express again and all of my emails came pouring in.

Anyways its Saturday and I’m going to play outside. Have a nice day and send me something sexy.

As usual, I’m attempting to recover from the winter time weight gain. Really, though … I have slowly been putting on weight since I began my sit-on-my-ass job last August, and my evening job of sitting on the couch eating cheetos. Unfortunately my metabolism did not accurately adjust to this change. My weight has always fluctuated due to work, school, anxiety & stress, overeating, hibernating during the winter months, etc. I’ve kind of hit a plateu with the steady job and overeating of the past year. The pant sizes climbed, the belly extended, and one day I looked at myself on the video conferencing TV at work when I was doing a test run. I was wearing navy pants and a sky blue shirt. And I looked like a teletubby.

On February 19th I decided to officially go on a diet. I busted out Cindy Crawford again and tried to stop eating cheetos and pizza … and french fries. I really enjoy the Cindy workout, but unfortunately I think it was making me gain weight. It is mostly a muscle building/fat burning workout, and I was definitey feelng sore in my ass and legs … and all the places I wanted to lose weight, but the fat wasn’t disappearing. Not even after a month of doing it at least 3-4x and week and not eating cheetos! I think I was definitely building some muscle under the heaping lumps of fat on my body, but that was not really the goal. I bought a rebounder and tried jumping on it for more cardio exercise but since I’m so uncoordinated, I kept twisting my ankles on it and felt like I was going to die. Anyways, a month later I evaluated my progress. I lost three pounds total and I still looked like a teletubby. So I got discouraged and quit.

My new goal is gradual and permanent weight loss. I’m not going to totally cut out the tasty things. I’m still going to eat french-fries, cheetos, and pizza … but just not very much. I’ve taught myself that diet pepsi and yogurt are really tasty, and that vegetables such as green peppers and mushrooms are not really that bad! I’ve been walking in Schenley park almost every day that doesn’t rain (which now is averaging about 3 days a week). I have also decided to weigh myself in cats so I can really evaluate progress. Instead of being sad that I have gained back a pound that wasn’t there yesterday, I have totally done away with the pound system. I have taken a number, the weight of Todd’s cat … since my cats can’t really represent an average cat. Cat weighs like 22 pounds, Cinder is a fat midget cat, and Nine — well he might be average but I have no idea how much he weighs. So, I’m using the weight of Todd’s cat. In the last month, I have lost a cat. So now I am happy to say that instead of 14 … I weight 13 cats! Ultimate goal: 11 cats. So, one down … two to go. That is so much easier than those pesky pounds!

Anyways, besides the cat losin’ which has been replacing my evening edition of Friends’ and Frasier, I still haven’t given up on Nick @ Nite, which is gradually changing to TV Land, since N@N only shows the Cosby show and Fresh Prince these days …. and you don’t need to read into that, I just don’t happen to care for those particular shows due to the fact that they are both a bit too Full House and not quite the adult humor I’m looking for.

I’ve been busy at work these days … nothing unusual. I got the best news EVER on Friday when the HR person called me and asked me if I could whip up a job description for her to give to some people she was interviewing. YES people, this means that I am losing 1/3 of my job and is the BEST news EVER! I’ve literally been in insane mode at work since about February when it was decided I was actually two people, had 6 arms and could actually get 20 hours worth of work done in 7 hours. After quite a few departmental meetings, a lot of complaining, and my insinuation that I wasn’t doing it anymore … which of course lead to the department gossip that I was quitting, ughh women … leading to the “concerned” meeting with HR lady and how much I’m valued as an employee, etc … and of course I had to explain to her that women are insane, but not her of course. So … it is almost official. I might finally stop hating my job.

I bought an MP3 player a few weeks ago and I LOVE it!!! L-O-V-E it! It is a Creative Muvo Micro, light blue and very pretty :). Too lazy to post a picture, but I recommend this brand to anyone thinking of purchasing one. It was a bit on the expensive side, but it is the 512 MB version, and you can get the cheaper 256MB one for about $40 less. If I had spent about $50 more I could have gone with the mini ipod, but I wanted something smaller, and I really don’t even think I have enough songs, or like enough songs, to fill up 4 GB. I can’t imagine what you’d do with the 60 GB ones!

Today I’m on a cleaning spree. I did laundry last night, but I must continue. I’m washing my couch covers, blankets, sheets, pillow cases, and things I’ve been neglecting like sweatshirts and bathrobes, etc. I’m on a mission! I bought some home interior type paint last night at Home Depot, and I’m going to FINALLY paint the shelf I got for Christmas and hang it up somewhere. It has hooks on it to hang coats and stuff, and I really need to put it up soon. I’ve stored all of my winter coats in the back of my closet, but I have like a zillion sweatshirts and umbrellas and purses that need a home. Todd said he was going to give me a bookcase and a little shelf. If he does, I will paint the shelf with the pink paint I bought and hang it off to the side of my pink couch with the pink couch cover so I can get some color in here. I purposely didn’t buy ANY dark colored paint cause this place doesn’t need to get any gloomier. Even though pink and light blue won’t match my orange carpet and the other ugly couch, who cares. I’m on a mission man. I need to spruce this little hole up for the summer months. I think I might also just completely knock out a wall and let the sun come in. Basement apartments suck for the summer, except that they stay nice and cool. I don’t miss living on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex.

I’m working on my “December 2006 plan”, so I’ll be busy with that along with everything else I do in my ever so crazy and exciting life (hint of sarcasm?). So I’ll try to update again soon. P.S. – My email doesn’t work so don’t write me with any urgent matters. I can access my webmail, however it takes me like 647 steps to get to it, and I’m spoiled with using Outlook Express. I don’t know what is wrong with it. I’ll try to get it fixed soon. So, if you need me ….. call me or IM me … or email me at work. Tata!

That is going to be the title of my book. I love the quirky women who have a witty sense of humor, or even the loud mouths who just tell it like it is. I like the storytellers and the eyerollers, and the ones who go “God Damn I need a beer right now.”

But unfortunately all of the women I know want to model their lives around Desperate Housewives. Oh my God, I forgot my tanning lotion for the bed and I never go to the gym without tanning first! That was not an example, someone really said that today. I don’t know what is terribly wrong with that phrase, but I know that it makes me fantasize about a dead body in a pool of blood. I know a guy would never say that. And for example, If I said “kiss my butt” to a guy – he would laugh. But I couldn’t say that to a typical girl because she would get offended or think of me as uncool. I like to say that though. Or if I said “fuck” because something went wrong, a girl would be like “Oh my God are you ok?” and a guy would be like “haha, having one of those days eh?”. Why are girls such anal asswads? I think that they should make a show called “Desperate Ass-Sticks” and hold tryouts for it. And on the TV show, all the girls literally have to walk around all day with sticks up their asses as punishment for existing in this world.

The End.

It is May and still cold. Now there is no heat in my apartment. I guess its broken, hope I don’t blow up and die. My heater blows out cold air. Seriously, it isn’t even like normal, it is COLD! I think it morphed into an air conditioner overnight. I hope it gets fixed today. It is going to be 35 tonight. That is all I have time for. I have to go back to work and die. Oh yeah. I got flowers today! They are shriveling up on my desk though. I will put them in some water when I come home. Hope its not too late. I’m sure icicles will form on them in here though. Today sucks. Hopefully I can scavenge some type of disgusting leftovers from a meeting at work because I’m hungry.

Again, I have nothing noteworthy to speak of. Except that I went to the Green Day concert on Saturday and it was spectacular. It may have been their best concert … I just missed the old stuff. I didn’t expect them to play any really old stuff, but they didn’t even play much recently old stuff.

I was hooked on SkillJam again for a few days …. Until I realized AGAIN that is a sham, or I just suck and always lose all of my money. Well, so much for becoming rich and moving to Malibu from my winnings. Guess it’s onto Plan B, selling non-vital organs and limbs from my body for some mad cash.

I want to go to an amusement park soon. I need to ride some rollercoasters since I have to wait until July to ride on an airplane. Vroom Vroom. I mean, whoosh, whoosh.

The weekend was really short, even though I had an extra day off. Since my weekend seemed so short, hopefully my week will go fast since I started it today instead of yesterday. I’m just going to pretend that today is Monday, tomorrow is Tuesday, and so on … so when I get to Friday, I will think it is Thursday and dance around like a crazy freak and sing the Friday song.

Now I am going to look at my calendar and see if I have anymore days off soon. Maybe I shouldn’t, but what if tomorrow is a holiday! Looking ……. I know tomorrow is not a holiday though. Poop, I have no days off till Memorial Day, and then some random ones in June. Is it obvious that I have a “going to work” problem?

I think I am going to join the circus.

Bye.

From KDKA.COM:

Saturday Night –
Rain and snow showers likely in the evening…then snow showers likely after midnight. Snow accumulation around an inch. Cooler with lows around 30. West winds 10 to 15 mph with gusts up to 25 mph. Chance of precipitation 70 percent.

1 inch of snow on my butt. Shut up.

I’m not feeling very deep today, so this entry will basically sum up my weekend, summarized in a news report fashion.

On Friday, I enjoyed a nice quiet day at work, and I took a long hour and a half lunch break. It was not as nice as it could have been because I spent most of my time at home ripping apart my apartment, hoping to find my W2’s from last year. That did not happen, so I spent the rest of my break cleaning up the mess I had made. Most of Friday night was spent filling in my tax forms, taking them to a mail box, and stopping at Say Cheese Pizza to buy some breaded zucchini. I watched television for the rest of the night, and dozed off around midnight or so.

On Saturday I got up early and took a long walk around the city, enjoying the beautiful weather. However, I got a bit tired of the outside, so I spent the rest of the afternoon inside, learning some website things in hopes to someday become a web designer and not have to have a real job. Saturday night I watched some more television. Around midnight I packed up my overnight gear and headed over to Todd’s house where I took a bubble bath and went to sleep.

This morning, I woke up and lounged around with Todd’s cat while he was at church, and I washed my hair in his sink (sorry~). I went to sleep with wet hair and sleeping in a tiny bed, pushed up against a rail .. well I kind of looked like medusa this morning. Then I put some makeup on and got dressed. I sat outside and watched a guy making laps up and down the street with his baby in a stroller, and I also saw many bumble bees. Todd came back and we went to Sears Auto so he could get new tires on his car. While waiting for the tires to be put on, we went to eat at a place called Golden Corral, which was a crazy cafeteria/Ponderosa like buffet with lots of tasty, yet quite unhealthy food. I ate macaroni n’ cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, corn, sauerkraut, french fries, salad, apple crisp, fudge brownies, and ice cream. There was also chicken, steak, and fish, but I didn’t eat any of that. I just loaded up on the carbs since I’m on the Anti-Atkins diet! Hahaha.

After eating, we went to this new music equipment store and Todd saw his long lost friend, who happened to be working there. They disappeared into a secret room for about 20 minutes, and I did not know what to do in the store because I do not know much about recording equipment, guitars, or keyboards …. so I went outside and watched the airplanes taking off from the airport. It was a cool location to watch them because they were still really low in the sky and it got me very excited about taking my first airplane trip this summer.

After that, we went to Wal Mart and I bought some frozen entrees, a CD Player, and a pair of pink tinted sunglasses. I wanted to buy an MP3 player, but they all sucked, so I bought a crappy $10 portable CD player so I can listen to music when I go for walks. On the way back from Wal Mart, we played the alphabet game in the car, and Todd said he felt weird. I think he was having a panic attack, but he told me I was silly.

Now I am at home, and I might make a cool music CD and go out for a walk. Later Todd is coming over to sleepover, and we are going to get up in the morning and go to our jobs because that is what people do on Monday mornings. I hope to someday NOT have to go to work EVER. My plan is to become self sufficient and quit my job by December 2006. And that my friends, is my April 17th 2005 resolution.

Goodbye.