Thursday, June 13 2002
Another recap of events, I’m sure you couldn’t be more excited! Courtney just put my head on Britney Spears body and I look pretty damn sexy as Britney Spears.
I’m drinking coffee right now, so chances that I will fall asleep before 6am are pretty slim. Well, since today is the least vague memory that I have, lets recap today. So I woke and I was hot. Once again, my sheets were crumpled up in a ball and I was sticking to my mattress. I must toss and turn a lot in my sleep. I gathered some envelopes and decided to mail my dad’s father’s day card, a bunch of checks that I need deposited into my checking account, and some fun bills. I walked downstairs and decided to check our mail before heading off. I’m sure glad that I did because I discovered at nice check for $211 dollars all for ME! My landlord in Indiana finally sent my security deposit to me, which couldn’t have come at a better time … I was planning on selling my body to science to pay my rent. So, I added my check to the depository envelope, and I headed out into the great wide open. I went to Crossroads to get some $$ for bills, then I went to CVS because I was bored. I bought some gifts for my dying boyfriend, I hope that they cheer him up. I cannot disclose any more information regarding the gifts because I have not given them to him yet. Wow! I just choked on my coffee and spit some onto my monitor because I am laughing so hard. Courtney just sent me her masterpiece. I think I look much better on Britney even though it is apparent that Courtney spent much more time on herself … mine looks more fake.
Anyways …. lets continue. So I came back to the apartment and hung out. I tended to my flourishing tomato plant and I put a wooden fork in the pot to use as a stick because he is getting to be a big boy and needs support.
Then I became hungry and decided to cook some food for Courtney and me since she was going to be home from work, and I knew that if I was cooking food just for myself, she would make the sad food face. Later, I talked to Todd for a while on the phone and I feel really sad because he is very sick. That brings us up to the present, and I am sitting here. Woah …. I just found a time machine sitting in our living room!!
Entering time machine …. set date: July 28, 1990
set location: 1204 4th Ave
set Event: My 9th BirthdayI am wearing a pink and black polka-dotted skirt ensemble, and I am sad because it is my birthday party and nobody came.
ME: Mommy, why isn’t anyone at my birthday party?
Mommy: Because you are a big dork sweetie. Why don’t you call Julie and ask her if she would like to come to your party?
ME: OK “Ring Ring”
Julie’s mom: Hello
ME: Can Julie come to my birthday party?
Julie’s mom: Sorry Dorkica, Julie went to Sea-World with her dad because she is cooler than you.
ME: Oh Ok, bye bye
Julie’s mom: click
ME: Mommy, everyone hates me!
Mommy: That’s not true honey? Don’t you have any other friends?
ME: Everyone is mean to me. When I went to West Hills, this girl named Courtney was my pen-pal, but when I came to FC, she did not want to be my friend.
Mommy: Why wouldn’t she want to be your friend?
ME: Because she is one of the cool girls with perms. I don’t have a perm.
Mommy: Do you want to get a perm?
ME: Well it doesn’t matter because I will still be a dork. I have big pink ugly glasses.
Mommy: But they match your dress perfectly!
ME: I hate wearing glasses! (Bursts into tears)
Mommy: It’s ok honey, I will sing you your favorite song!
ME: Ok mommy!
Mommy: “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose …….”(Curtain closes as I sit on mommy’s llap listening to my favorite song)
Wow! That was a fun trip! Yes, when I was in second grade, I went to West Hills Elementary School. Courtney was my pen-pal …. and I was jealous of her. I remember the letter that she sent me. She said that she had blonde hair and blue eyes, and that she was 8 years old. This made me very jealous because I wanted to have blonde hair and blue eyes, and I was only 7. At the age of 7, I was sure that being 8 was so much cooler. In third grade, I moved to FC and went to school with Courtney. I remember being on the playground with Hollie Radic when she introduced me to my pen-pal Courtney …. and the poodle haired snotty brat turned her pointy nose up at me and wanted to have nothing to do with me. Third grade was a tough year for me …. but I did meet Jaime …. she shared her crayons with me and we were friends ever since. Today she likes to introduce me to people by saying, “This is my friend —– … we have been friends since 3rd grade when I shared my crayons with her!” Courtney didn’t end up becoming my friend for a long time …. actually 9th grade, and I honestly don’t know how we became friends. But it was destined to be, even though she was a bitch to me in 3rd grade. I did get my revenge on her though …. she was a TARGET for being picked on by Julie and I back in the good old days of 1996.
Julie and I have been connected since birth. Our mom’s are cousins, and since we were born 2 days apart, we were the fun family babies. I am told that we played together as infants, but I do not consciously remember that. We were reunited in third grade when I moved to FC. Besides fun family events with missionary twins, we hung out in school too. Julie stopped being my friend in 5th or 6th grade though because she thought I was a dork. However, in 7th grade, we got ourselves in trouble a lot in Mr. Gould’s science class. We got in trouble for talking, then Julie tried to kill Katie Ortmann with a pencil, and we always stole Germiamy’s trapper keeper. Julie made comic strips about me being mauled by a dog and having a stumpy arm, and we shared memories such as the “Obsidian Cow”. We didn’t become really good friends until about 9th grade, when she invited me to come stay the weekend at her dad’s girlfriend’s house. We had a fun weekend eating chicken spaghetti, rummaging through Jenny’s son’s stuff, playing Bubble Bobble, and writing poems. I think that was the weekend I composed my famous line: “You are the fuzz on my peach, without you I am merely a nectarine”. After that weekend, Julie and I became rollerblading rock-stars and comic-strip queens. We have been friends ever since.
Time: Present
Ok, I’m back …. so do you want to hear about recent events? OK! So where was I? Oh yeah, I finished talking about today, then I went back to 1990. waahdafuck? Well I didn’t do anything productive yesterday during the day …. I met Todd at work around 6, we went to Office Max and I wanted to purchase the store, put it on wheels, find a nice chunk of land and live in it. I didn’t though. We also went to Wal-mart and then we ate at Quaker Steak and Lube … never ate there before, food is good, yummy yay! Then we went to his apartment and I made a Father’s day card for my dad and Todd organized his music. Then we sat outside and talked about bra sizes. I came home, insomnia is back …. I stayed up half the night organizing stuff and paying bills. I also did some stuff to get my button biz back in order. I finally fell asleep …. then I got up today. This is not very organized. If you missed what I did today, scroll back up to the very top.
Ok, lets go back to the beginning of time now. On Sunday, I went home for a few days. It was nice to be home and I did absolutely nothing, it was great. I had to see my bedroom and it made me cry. My puzzles are gone, my room is bare, and there is new paint on the walls. After being home for 2 minutes, the radar monkey’s found me and we went to Wal-Mart. I bought a new phone that is just completely awesome. Then I slept in my room with paint fumes. I woke up and did nothing all day. I ate good food and hung out with my brother even though he slept all day, so I kicked him to try to make him wake up. Radar monkey Jr. found me around 10:30PM, and I was really mad because Todd said he was going to come visit me, and I really didn’t need Steve there. He had been calling me all day and knew I was home because he had offered to pick me up on Sunday, so he could find out where he had to take his boards at in Pittsburgh. He ended up not picking me up, but knew that I was planning on coming home anyways. Is there something about me that just spells out “LOSER” on my face? Nobody ever calls me and ASKS me if I want to do something. They just assume that I am their back-up and that I am always just there. Maybe that is why I get so frustrated with guys and friends in general. I’m not a pushover, am I? I just try to be nice, but I always end up being the one that people rely on and expect things from. Anyways, Steve refused when I politely asked him to leave because he said that he wanted to meet Todd. I felt just horrible the whole night, but luckily Todd was very cool about it. Thank You.
I came back to Pittsburgh on Tuesday afternoon …. I can’t remember what I did when I got back. Oh yeah, Julie had fun-night at the apartment with her dad and sister, and Todd came over and we watched “Where the Heart Is”. It was really funny and cute and good. I liked the movie a lot and recommend it to anyone who is up for a GREAT movie. I actually might add it to my list of favorite movies.
I hope I haven’t left out anything pertinent, but I think that is enough for now.
Goodbye